Introduction

It was summer of 2013 and I'd just been evicted from the place I was living after the police had raided the house targeting my pot dealing roommate. I'd been lucky enough for another friend of mine to let me crash in his basement free of charge. Before then I'd been doing DJ gigs for aforementioned pot dealing friend for room and board.

I was BROKE as hell, basically had no food and had to go to the homeless shelter to pick up food care packs. Camping on whatever wifi I could find open in the city I attempted to make a living online as an artist. When that failed, I began to try and entertain people for bitcoin and ended up learning about a buttcoin.

Buttcoin Blasphemy

A buttcoin is when you stick a sharpie in your ass and take a picture with the purchasers username in frame. The digital equivalent of purchasing someone's ass, if you will.

Whales used to love buying these things en masse.

Now in order to stick out from the crowd (buttcoins were pretty common place at this point in time) I devised to create a new variation of the classical buttcoin.

Created something new and unseen in the crypto ecosystem.

A New Sparkling Star is Born

I decided to pick up a few package of sparklers from the dollar store with what little pocket change I had. This was basically the last little bit money I had at the time.

I was going to have people pledge Bitcoin to buy a sparkler, Which would then be put in my ass and lit. All sparklers would be inserted at the same time ensuring pyrotechnical butt magic.

The project was dubbed "SPARKLECOIN" and I began to rally interest from various parties I knew online.
I ended up making an announcement on the bitcoin forums. My goal was 2 Bitcoin. I had 10 sparklers.

Eventually all but 1 sparkler had been pledged. A list of the users who pledged BTC for sparklers:

judah_mu - 0.009 BTC
kopipe - 0.01 BTC
andrew - 0.05 BTC
opusdigitus - 0.10 BTC
cheeseheaven - 0.01 BTC
cowbay - 0.01 BTC
darwerft - 0.099 BTC
dooglus - 0.01 BTC
BayAreaCoins - 1.0 BTC

Sparklecoin

In the wee morning hours of September 3rd, 2013, While camped outside of a church that happened to have an open wi-fi connection, started up my webcam, shoved the 9 pledged sparklers in my butthole and then lit them.

As seen in picture above, I succesfully managed to light all of the sparklers while they were in my butt.

Burning a Hole (in my pockets)

Now, as you can probably imagine.. A LOT of heat was given off by these pyrotechnic devices lodged in my anus. Had I thought it through a bit more I likely would have made something to insulate my butthole from the burning metal rods. About half way through the burn it became pretty obvious I'd cooked some of my butt.. It hurt like a bastard.

All and all, I ended up making around 1.19 Bitcoin (Bitcoin was around $130 back then) and receiving 2nd degree burns to my sphincter. Was it worth it? Absolutely not. It hurt to sit or have bowel movements for weeks!

You're probably sitting there thinking to yourself "Did all of this all actually happen?"

You bet your ass full of sparklers it did!

View the original bitcointalk.org thread here

How I Burnt My ASS For Bitcoin (NSFW)