Are you jealous of all the people getting rich from Bitcoin? Do you want to invest in Cryptocurrency? Do you have no idea how to even buy Cryptocurrency? Do you, despite having you brother explain it to you like ten times, still have no idea what the fuck Cryptocurrency even is? If you answered yes to any of these questions you are just like me.
For the life of me, I just can’t grasp the concept of buying imaginary coins that are worth tens of thousands of dollars just because people believe it’s worth it. What exactly is it that you even own? Fuck if I know. I’m smart enough to know how much I don’t know, and I’m smart enough to not invest in things I don’t know shit about. However, I do know there’s gold in them there hills and I want some. They say the only person to get rich during the gold rush was the guy selling shovels. That’s why I have decided to stay out of the gold mines and invest in shovels. Here are some stocks you can buy in companies that have a stake in cryptocurrency.
DISCLAIMER: Don’t take investment advice from a degenerate gambling addict on the internet calling himself 
If you don’t have a brokerage account to buy stocks, getting one is super easy. You just need a bank account, some money, and a social security number for tax purposes. If you don’t have a social security number I can get you one for pretty cheap…Not really…unless you want one. My favorite platform is an app called Robinhood. Unlike other brokerage firms, they don’t charge commissions to buy and sell stocks. When I use TD Ameritrade it costs me $10 every time I buy and sell. If you’re like me and only have a hundred bucks or so to throw down at a time those charges are a real kick in the nuts to your buying power.
SHAMELESS PLUG: if you open an account use this link Big Money Hustla! and we’ll both get a random free stock.
There’s way too much information to share here so in the interest of this blog not taking a day and a half to write I’m just going to post links to relevant content about these companies.
Digital Power Corporation (DPW)
current price: $5.15
Established company about to create a bitcoin mining division.
https://globenewswire.com/news-release/2017/12/13/1261150/0/en/Digital-Power-Corporation-Creates-Cryptocurrency-Mining-Division.html
Parateum Corp (TEUM)
Current Price: $0.79
Creating own crypto called Air Token
http://lending-times.com/2017/10/05/solving-the-data-problem-for-prepaid-mobile-users-with-microloans/
MGT Capital (MGTI)
Current Price: $4.20
Mines Bitcoin. CEO is John McAfee
https://www.investopedia.com/news/mgt-capital-doubles-down-bitcoin-mining-mgti/
Marathon Patent Group (MARA)
Current Price: $5.74
IP licensing company. Just bought a company that mines Bitcoin.
https://www.marathonpg.com/news/press-releases/detail/1166/marathon-patent-group-to-acquire-global-bit-ventures-inc
Riot Blockchain inc. (RIOT)
Current Price: $28.50
Bitcoin Miners. This stock has been blowing up lately.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-10-04/from-biotech-to-bitcoin-bioptix-shifts-focus-to-blockchain
Glance Technologies Inc. (GLNNF)
Current Price: $1.75
Blockchain payment processor.
http://www.glance.tech/news/glance-announces-acquisition-cryptocurrency-technology-4-blockchain-influencer
Longfin Corp (LFIN)
Current Price: $22.01
A Blockchain research company developing decentralized application for micro lending and warehouse financing.
https://investorplace.com/2017/12/longfin-corp-lfin/
Ohai investment corp (OHAI)
Current Price: $1.61
Blockchain bank that loans cryptocurrency.
https://investorshub.advfn.com/boards/read_msg.aspx?message_id=136956436
Net1 UEPS Technologies (UEPS)
Current Price: $11.17
Bitcoin payment processor.
http://www.marketwired.com/press-release/bitx-selects-zazoo-to-offer-interoperable-spend-via-mobile-virtual-card-technology-nasdaq-ueps-2047532.htm
First Trust Cloud Computing ETF (SKYY)
Current Price: $46.62
ETF stock that invests in companies related to cloud computing.
https://www.ftportfolios.com/retail/etf/etfsummary.aspx?Ticker=SKYY
HIVE Blockchain Technologies Ltd (PRELF)
Current Price: $2.68
Crypto mining company
https://www.hiveblockchain.com/