The following article quotes and paraphrases the PDF handout from the University Of Pittsburg:
http://www.pacwrc.pitt.edu/curriculum/313_MngngImpctTrmtcStrssChldWlfrPrfssnl/hndts/HO15_ThnkngAbtThnkng.pdf
I use this handout in my groups at the psychiatric hospital where I work, and the patients get a lot out of it. So I hope you do as well.
Have you ever been to a carnival and seen your reflection in a trick mirror? Your body appears "distorted," but this is only an illusion. We do this with our thinking as well.
Sometimes our thoughts are like trick mirrors that distort reality, leading to depression, anxiety, anger, and resentment.
The following are the most common forms of cognitive distortions that cause most of our negative emotions.
All-or-Nothing Thinking: You see things in black-or-white categories. If a situation falls short of perfect, you see it as a total failure."
For example, you make a goal of posting every day on Hive for 30 days. 15 days in, you have a horrible day, and you don't post for a day. You tell yourself, "this proves that I don't have what it takes to create an online business. So you end up taking a whole week off out of discouragement.
In reality, you didn't make your goal. You can start over and prepare for bad days as they will happen. Maybe create some extra content, so you wrote your content when you have a bad day.
Overgeneralization: You see a single negative event, such as a romantic rejection or
a career reversal, as a never-ending pattern of defeat by using words such as “always” or
“never” when you think about it.
Be very careful of these words. I am going to say that always and never do not exist. If you say, "I'm always messing up" or "I never get a break." You will give up from discouragement and not even try.
Mental Filter: You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that
your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors a beaker of
water.
You post new content on Hive. You get some good comments, but you "oh no, said something political" and got an angry comment and a downvote. This is the first time you got a downvote.
In reality, you are not going to please everyone. You had many positive comments. Why not emphasize these comments instead of the one where they didn't see your way politically?
Discounting the Positive: You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't
count." For example, if you do a good job, you may tell yourself that it wasn’t good enough or that anyone could have done as well. Discounting the positive takes the joy out of life and
makes you feel inadequate and unrewarded.
You are new to creating video content. You create your first video, and it isn't perfect. A couple of people comment and tell you they like your video. They are people from CTP, and you say, "they are just nice because I am a member of CTP too."
In reality, you are just starting. You won't be perfect, but parts of your video can be good. This doesn't mean they are lying to you. Accept the compliment.
Jumping to Conclusions: You interpret things negatively when there are no facts to
support your conclusion.
Mind Reading: Without checking it out, you arbitrarily conclude that someone
is reacting negatively to you.
Fortune-telling: You predict that things will turn out badly. Before a test, you
may tell yourself, “I’m really going to blow it. What if I flunk?” If you’re depressed you may tell yourself, “I’ll never get better.”
You hear about the CTP Content Challenge. You think, "I'll try, but I doubt I can be that consistent. I probably won't finish."
Magnification: You exaggerate the importance of your problems and shortcomings, or
you minimize the importance of your desirable qualities. This is also called the “binocular
Trick.”
You get your first downvote on Hive. Then, you tell yourself, "oh no, I wasted all my time on Hive."
**Emotional Reasoning: **You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect
the way things really are:
I'm scared to go over bridges. They must be very dangerous. I'm afraid of dogs. That must mean they want to bite me.
Should statements: You tell yourself that things should be the way you hoped or
expected them to be. After playing a difficult piece on the piano, a gifted pianist told
herself, “I shouldn’t have made so many mistakes.” This made her feel so disgusted that
she quit practicing for several days. “Musts,” “oughts” and “have tos” are similar
Offenders.
“Should statements” that are directed against yourself lead to guilt and frustration. Should
statements that are directed against other people or the world in general lead to anger
and frustration:
"I shouldn't have eaten that ice cream." You feel guilty and eat more ice cream.
"They shouldn't be so argumentative."
Labeling: Labeling is an extreme form of all-or-nothing thinking. Instead of saying “I
made a mistake,” you attach a negative label to yourself: “I’m a loser.”
We also can label other people, and this creates anger.
Personalization and blame: Personalization occurs when you hold yourself
personally responsible for an event that isn’t entirely under your control.
Rarely are things entirely under our control. Rarely too are things completely under other's control. Stop blaming yourself and others. At the most, you or they are only partly to blame.