Hi everyone... how are you? Today I want to share about some culture difference between Indonesia and Germany which come across my mind and are specially highlighted in my life since I lived in this country for the last 7 years.
1. Appointment
Germans are so typical with „appointment“ because everything must be planned flawlessly before. Even to visit your own family member who happen to live in the same town like you, you need to make an appointment. But I actually love this, although sometimes I do think that one could be a bit flexible for once or twice.
I feel comfortable with this habit because I also happen to be an asian who cherish privacy and like to be alone and lazy at home. I love wearing my sleep wear or whatever comfortable at my own home so I just don't expect somebody to knock on my door for a visit. My home… my palace.
It's also possible that I'm rather busy or just having a bad mood at the moment and really don't want to have a visitor, even if it's family so it's perfect to have them making an early appointment to meet me. In Indonesia you can just come over and knock on the door risking that probably nobody at home.
If you visit a doctor in Indonesia, you'd take a number and wait the doctor for hours to call you. The doctor works sometimes until midnight when they happen to have so many patients waiting.
In Germany you would not need to wait that long because you made an appointment in advance and the assistant could manage the schedule and how many patients they would accept so that the doctors need not to overwork.
So I think this habit is very convenient to me.
2. Punctuality
Germans in general are punctuality freak :-D.
You don't come earlier or later, but just right on time (However, do keep in mind that there is always an exceptional case :-D ). Indonesians are so known with their „gummy hours“ ^_^, and many do not even care to send a notice that they are coming late and how late that would be, even an apologise is not always given.
However, if you ever visit Jakarta (indonesian capital), you would understand why it is not considered rude behaviour anymore. If you see the traffic there, you would even consider it's a miracle if someone is punctual :-)). No one is gonna be able to predict how long would it finally take to get you to a certain place, so it's rather difficult to give an informative notice.
And if you are too strict with „punctuality“ issue, you would end up never have anything done in the end as it is just difficult to meet your standard. However, I also consider that giving a notice to apologise would be much better and showing some respect. So either indonesians who come to germany or reverse case, both should just adapt to the local situation to live well ^_^.
3. Outspoken and direct Germans do not like to beat around the bush. Yes means yes, No means no. If you dislike something you would say it as well as if you like something. It might sounds rude to people from other cultures but they never meant it to be rude. It is just their style of speaking. Beating around the bush is a sign of inefficiency and could even lead into misunderstanding, one is easy to miss the point.
So, even if my culture also finds such things is rude, I do not think so. I like that characteristic, it makes life easier actually.
In Asia you should be sensitive enough to read one's expression or gesture or sometimes even to just read behind the sentences. What's said do not always mean what's actually thought in mind.
That's exhausting for me to always try to analyse every sentences so deeply to avoid misunderstanding and to be very cautious with everything you say as you'd never really know when you actually offend someone with it.
They do not express it openly it if they are unhappy about something. It's very likely to suddenly have someone avoiding you without you even know what you've done wrong.
This way one has a hard time to make things right again.
I wonder too why one needs to torture one's self by hiding one's dissatisfaction and expecting others to guess what they've done wrong, so inefficient. Not everyone has a high EQ and could read mind like a psychic :-D.
A funny misunderstanding could happen like this in Germany:
Indonesian guests visit a german house and are offered foods. For an Indonesian it is not so polite to directly accept everything offered. It somehow shows as if one is so greedy and expectant to be given things :-D .
So the normal reaction would be „No, thank you. I'm full“ or similar, but deep down in their heart they are expecting to be offered again once or sometimes even twice just like the custom in Indonesia. But the germans think differently. They would just accept the „No“ as a matter of fact and respect your choice ^_^.
So finally the guests come back home thirsty, hungry and with grievance LOL.
4. Germans are accustomed to pay for their own drink or foods when they are going out with friends.
Even if it's just a cup of coffee they will separate the bill. Unless it is clearly stated in advance that one is invited or it will be a treat. For Indonesians it is rather embarassing to separate the bill in a restaurant.
Normally we just take turn to treat :). And if there would be any agreement to pay by our self, then one would still pay the bill as a whole and we would divide the amount later when we go out of the restaurant.
5. Attitude in accepting gift.
When I first accepted a gift from somebody in Germany I would just instinctively put it aside, not open it directly. That is because in our country it is not so polite to show eagerness in accepting presents. When you invite someone over for a birthday party, it is their presence which is expected and become priority, not the present. This is the message behind the attitude.
Second, there is always a possibility that we don't like the present, so we just don't want to accidentally reveal the real feeling in front of the giver, because we don't want to offend them and additionally, we help any of the guests to not lose face if their present happen to be less precious (in material value) compare to the present from the other guests. We help some of our guests not to be a gossip topic and being compared here and there.
But this habit might be understood wrongly by german friends.
My german relatives have once thought as if I didn't appreciate their present so that I just put it aside and ignored it. Here people would excitedly open the birthday present directly in front of the giver and show the appreciation.
I wouldn't say this habit is better or worse, it's just different. Both have their reason.
I think that's it for today…
There are still some more difference of course, but these are just what gave me rather deep impression in my early years in Germany.
See you next time :).