How To Get Laid By Hot Girls From The Street (AKA Daygame - An A to Z Guide)
Introduction
First of all what is daygame? Succinctly put, it is the art of approaching, attracting/connecting and eventually seducing pretty women in everyday scenarios such as walking down the street, in a museum/gallery, in a coffee shop etc.
To a beginner, the very thought of approaching an attractive woman on the street can lead to being paralysed by anxiety, insecurity and fear. That was my response when I first heard of this “hobby” about 7 years ago. Now after literally thousands of approaches it seems as simple as going in a shop and buying a bottle of water. Just an ordinary everyday activity should I feel the need to approach. Well I tell a slight lie, even to a seasoned daygamer like myself if I haven’t approached in a while I still sometimes get a pang of anxiety, but I’m so used to overcoming it now it isn’t really worth mentioning.
My Story
As I mentioned I came across daygame and “game” in general about 7 years ago as a shy young man with very little experience in this area. I decided to begin approaching strangers. I started off in nightclubs and excruciatingly slowly began to overcome my fear with many trips to the bar and smoking area in between (anything to distract me from the task in hand).
When I began doing daygame (after some paid coaching) I was amazed to see how the instructors would effortlessly approach young, attractive women on the street and leave with their contact details. Just witnessing someone get a number was a huge deal! I remember my first daygame approach on a hot summer afternoon in the Boots in Picadilly Circus, London. My opener was simple “I’m looking to buy my cousin a present for her birthday, but I know nothing about makeup, what would you recommend?” The feeling of fear in anticipation of delivering, what in hindsight was, a fairly indirect opener can only be compared to doing something extremely unnatural like jumping out of a plane at 16,000ft, but after delivering it, very nervously, the feeling of adrenaline after was just as intense.
For you beginners, you may be looking at YouTube videos of advanced daygamers doing crazy antics which seem so outside your current grasp and perhaps feeling some envy that you cannot immediately replicate their impressive results, but the feeling you get from daygame when you first start approaching is probably one of the most intense adrenaline rushes you will ever get in your life. So cherish being a beginner because the intense feelings slowly subside into you becoming a calmer, more centred daygamer (which is good), but is a trade-off for the huge spikes in positive emotions (and likewise the huge lows).
Nevertheless, after many years slowly improving my craft, working on my sticking points, and constantly refining my attitudes, behaviours, approaches etc. I have achieved many things in daygame including getting the contacts of hundreds of gorgeous women, going on instant-dates (from the street to a coffee shop or bar) with over a hundred women, making out with and sleeping with enough women to feel confident in this area for the rest of my life (and sometimes sleeping with them the same day I meet them on the street).
So that’s where I am today. It wasn’t easy, but it’s surprising just how quickly you can get the basic competencies down. When I first committed a serious amount of time to daygame I was able to get to a point where I could pretty much go out for a whole day and get a number or two (this took me between 2-3 months of constant practice). By the way, now I can go out and get probably about 4 numbers in an hour and that’s whilst being picky about whom I approach.
The Aim of this Book for You
This book is for anyone with very limited experience of daygame. Perhaps you’ve done zero approaches in your life, or maybe you’re at around 300 or so. You’ve still probably got a lot to improve on. So the book is designed for someone to read the instructions, concepts and exercises given, and then go out and immediately implement them for around 2-3 months. Going out for around 2-4 hours a day (two to three times a week). But like anything, the more you put into this; the more you will get out!
The Meat and Potatoes
Okay, now I’ll get into the main part of the book, the applicable advice. I’ll outline the basics. Realise, that even for someone advanced like myself, the basics of this applied and executed correctly still account for 80% of my results. Therefore, master the basics and you’ll be in a very good position.
Before Even Going Out the House
When you approach a woman who does not know you, she will immediately make a snap judgement as to whether she’s going to hang around for a bit or decide to carry on with her plans. Therefore, present yourself as well as you can by grooming yourself. What kind of hairstyle do you have? Does it look presentable? If not go to a hairdresser and ask them which haircuts they think will suit you. What kind of clothes are you wearing? Are you dressed like a Granddad? You don’t need to go out and buy a Gucci outfit, but look at some men’s magazines such as GQ, for example. Pay attention to what seems to be fashionable. And then you can go into H&M or somewhere else, which is reasonably priced, and try buying something that looks similar. Also brush your teeth before going out; make sure your breath smells acceptable.
This stuff is extremely basic, but it has to be said as it’s surprising how many guys will just completely overlook basic principles as stated.
Opening
What is “opening” or “approaching”? Well quite simply you spot a woman you like and you go over to her and begin a conversation. More specifically, the “opener” is usually the first line you utter; yes that magic “pick-up line” ;-).
However, there is more to opening than just what you say! The majority of the impression you make on the girl will be based on nonverbal cues (or the way you carry
yourself). These cues can be broken down into basic body language, eye contact and voice tonality.
Body Language:
When you walk up to a woman, generally you want to seem as relaxed as possible. I know that if you’re a beginner this is extremely difficult as you’re nervous as fuck, but just approach anyway, even if you’re not calm. Taking action is always more important than the results you’re getting! But, be cognizant of the fact that the closer you are to a relaxed state; the closer you are to the ideal. However, not everything in life is ideal and you can still get results whilst nervous, so be accepting of yourself if that’s the reality of the situation.
What do I mean by being relaxed?
Imagine how you stand when you are talking to someone you are completely comfortable with. Your shoulders are probably slumping slightly and not tense as if you’re in fight or flight mode. By just paying attention to the differences you display in body language when you’re relaxed in the company of someone you know very well or talking to an attractive woman you can start noticing little jittery movements that you make in front of a woman as compared to with a friend. The more you can become the person who speaks to a complete stranger with the same ease and comfort in body language you display with a familiar friend. The more the woman will trust you and feel comfortable around you, which means that she will be more likely to comply to your requests for her number, for a date, or even to walk her around the city right then and there.
Eye Contact:
Eye contact is probably one of the most powerful tools you can use when trying to connect, attract and seduce a woman. This phenomenon is exemplified by a study carried out in 1989 by researchers Kellerman, Lewis and Laird. In the study two strangers of the opposite-sex were instructed to stare into each other’s eyes for two minutes. The results suggested that this prolonged eye contact exercise led to the strangers developing passionate feelings towards each other. So if you can master eye contact you can take your success with women to a whole new level!
When first approaching a woman, it is important to look her directly in the eyes before you even utter a word. It is extremely beneficial if you also have a slight smirk on your face whilst doing it. People are more receptive when you give them a smile and this will put her at ease, instead of making you come across as too cold and stiff.
The other reasons to hold eye contact with her—especially at the beginning—are that it helps capture her attention; it builds trust, and finally, helps you come across as a strong, confident character.
However, although 90% of men probably don’t hold eye contact enough, don’t make the mistake of overdoing it, whereby you feel yourself straining to hold eye contact 100% of the time. Mastering eye contact entails getting the right balance between holding it and breaking it. If you’re holding eye contact perhaps 70% of the time and
looking away the other 30% you’re probably doing well. When should you break eye contact? There isn’t a black and white answer to this, obviously if she’s talking about something she feels is important you should always give her your full attention, but when the topic is a bit more mundane and you feel your eyes wondering don’t feel to guilty about it.
Voice Tonality:
This is also a tricky one if you’re someone who when making a statement or even asking a question has an upward, high-pitched inflection at the end of what they’re saying. Bad, bad, bad!
The ideal voice tonality is to be steady and calm. Saying what you say with a subtle conviction and belief in what you are sharing. That’s not to say you can’t inject inflections in order to have a more varied and interesting allure, but you want to be slightly more “rapport breaking” than “rapport seeking”. Think James Bond rather than Screech from Saved By The Bell.
What To Say:
This is probably the least important aspect compared to the other three. This is because carrying an overall positive vibe into the “pick-up” is much more important than just your words. What if you’re not feeling particularly positive and upbeat though? Well the age-old wisdom in the “pick-up community” is fake it till you make it, and that you must do ;-).
Having said that let me give you two openers to try out:
I usually start off with a pre-opener before hand. That is in order to grab a woman’s attention. Don’t forget she is in her own little world and you need to pop her bubble and get her focusing on you. One I like to use in London, as it’s a multicultural city with many tourists, is “excuse me, do you speak English?” most of the time they will say “yes” and I will carry on into the next part of the opener. Another pre-opener that’s fairly popular is “excuse me, I just saw you there”. These work wonders to get her attention and make her focus on what you’re about to say next.
Follow up with either of the two openers below (or perhaps one of your own).
1. “I thought you looked attractive and wanted to come over to speak to you”
2. “I liked how German/French/Russian/English etc. (pick one) you looked”
Now for a beginner these might seem very outlandish and direct. Well from experience I generally find it better to be direct as women can usually sense when you’re being disingenuous and would prefer you to be more honest. However, if you really struggle with these just go up to a woman and ask for the time/directions/nearest coffee shop etc. This will get you used to walking up to a stranger, stopping them and speaking to them. You can follow these indirect openers up after with “by the way, I like how XYZ you look” when you’re feeling slightly more comfortable. Thereafter, follow the rest of the advice to get into a more natural conversation.
Leading:
As a side note, but a central theme throughout the interaction you have to be leading! As you are the one who has gone up to a stranger and initiated an interaction the responsibility to shoulder most of the “pressure” and “awkwardness” lies with you— these two words are in quotations because as soon as you stop caring about the outcome of the interaction they disappear. And on top of that you are the man; it is your job to lead the seduction! There have been instances when women have tried to seduce me in my life and have taken the initiative to move things forward, I can count them on one hand. So if you want things to happen you have to be the one moving everything forward. Leading the conversation, by introducing new topics or expanding on what she’s said. Leading by asking her to move two steps to the side so you’re not blocking people walking through. Leading by asking for her number. Leading by suggesting you go for a drink. And leading by taking her hand, looking into her eyes and attempting to kiss her, when the time comes.
One last thing, make sure you make yourself seen and heard when approaching. It is better a woman walks past you after hearing exactly what you were trying to say, than walks past trying to figure out what you wanted. Man up and make yourself visible and audible!
After the Opener: Getting into Conversation
So you’ve walked up and delivered your opener. Remember, all the stuff about body language, eye contact and voice tonality apply throughout don’t just ditch them after the opener! Most men really struggle at this stage, as they don’t know what to say next. This problem is so cliché in the community, but it was one of the main ones I struggled with and many others struggle with.
The temptation at this stage is to ask questions. Instead we will try and avoid this. A stranger coming up and asking you question after question is generally not interesting or attractive. It is because you are “taking value” by expecting the other person to recount their life story to you whilst you are providing very little.
The way we get around the temptation to ask questions is to make assumptions (this technique provides more value to the interaction)!
If you wanted to know where she’s from? What her occupation is? How old she is? Or what she’s doing? Just tell her what you assume the answer to be.
E.g. instead of asking where are you from? Say “hmmm when I saw you I thought you looked Danish because you had blonde hair, blue eyes, a tight leather jacket and now I can hear you have a squeaky accent ;-)”. This is far more interesting than just asking the question! If you are right she will be amazed, but if you are wrong she will normally correct you and tell her more about herself. So either way, she will actively get involved in the interaction.
Another example, instead of what do you do? State “well you seem like a friendly person and you have a nice smile so I’m guessing your job involves looking after people. I’m imagining you as either a nurse or a cabin crew attendant” (with a slight
cheeky smile; fun vibe remember). Again either you’re right or wrong, but either way you’re winning because she will probably correct you. If she doesn’t, and just says “Nope” then nudge her and say “well I’m interested now, what do you do?” It’s much better to ask the question after making an assumption then to just straight up ask.
After making assumptions about her, you can then ask her to make assumptions about you (if she hasn’t asked already). Ask her where she thinks you’re from/how old you are/what she thinks you do? etc. You’re then getting her to think about you and imagine who you are. That is more investment on her part.
After this stage of making assumptions, you want to get into a more normal conversation. If you start talking about a subject you’re familiar with, tell her what you know about it and what your connection is to that subject. E.g. Spain: “I went there for a Spanish exchange when I was 14... etc.” If you don’t know anything about Spain or haven’t been and it comes up in conversation say “hmmm not really an expert on Span to be honest. I used to go on old-fashioned English holidays to Blackpool, but I imagine the weather/wine/women to be much better over there etc. ;-)”.
This is the formula. You talk about subjects you know about, and if you don’t know tell her what your mental picture of them seems to be and she can talk more about it after. And then repeat the process.
Teasing
In order to create attraction during the conversation it’s important to have slight teases or make slightly risqué comments such as “you seemed very bossy before I came to talk to you. Are you a strict schoolteacher ;-) etc.” These are quite hard to give examples of. It’s just something you would say to a friend or someone you’re messing with a little, rather than being very prim and proper as though you were talking to your boss.
Another method to create just a bit of friction and attraction in the conversation is be a bit disagreeable and then state your reason for disagreeing. If she says, “I love Mexican food it’s the best” you can reply “Really? I find I just want to sleep after tacos or burritos, I much prefer French food the flavours are subtle and I’m able to stay awake after”. This way you’re not just saying yes to everything she says. You’re disagreeing and showing you have a backbone. She’ll respect you for it.
Closing
Okay, so what do you do after you’ve opened, got yourself into a conversation, and teased her a bit (from between 5-15 minutes)? Closing is really easy if you’ve had a decent interaction up until this point. Just say, “Listen, I can’t hang around and chat all day. It’s been great talking to you though. I can take your number and invite you out another time. How does that sound?” Again if it’s been going well, in the absence of some weird excuse, the vast majority of the time she will agree to give you her number/email/Facebook. Take it, say your goodbyes, and go.
Alternatively
If you want to try and sit down with her longer after it’s been going well, just ask “What exactly are you doing for the next 10-15 minutes” If she hasn’t got any plans just say “You seem like an interesting person. I was going to grab a coffee/tea/beer from this place around the corner, why don’t you join me?” If she agrees go and continue the interaction there. This is known as an instant date. If not just take her contact details and arrange it for another time.
Rejection
I’ve outlined the ideal scenarios in my examples. However, when you’re starting out you have to be ready for girls to be busy/meeting a boyfriend/in a bad mood etc. and they may not stop to give you that much time. The interaction may just last for 5 seconds. The better you get at this, the less this will happen, but there’s only so much in the environment you can control.
I can go out any day and get a girl to join me on an instant date or give me her contact details. I can do it extremely efficiently most of the time. However, I still get rejected for various reasons, and so do the other top guys in this field. Lionel Messi doesn’t score from every shot. Michael Jordan couldn’t slam-dunk every lay up, and as a daygamer you can’t get every girl all of the time. What you can get though, are enough hot girls in your life that it doesn’t matter. And besides, the rejections make you sharper. They remind you when you’re stagnating and force you to improve on the next opportunity. I usually enjoy rejections as they wake me up and get me in my flow state more quickly. My point is rejection is good for you! The guy’s who are the best at daygame have been rejected the most.
So happy hunting; I wish you the best of luck on your endeavours and hope you enjoy the wonderful fruits that daygame has to offer. Not just the women, but also the process of becoming a better person, a better version of you.
If you would like to get hold of me regarding one-on-one coaching feel free to email me at alexander.london7@gmail.com
I can also give you practical exercises for starting out, as well as answering any questions you have.