Here's a story covering some of my summer exploits...
I was in a very sunny, beautiful Eastern European city.
I decide to combine sight-seeing with finding girls. So I walk towards the central shopping area. The weather was around 30 degrees Celsius and I was in a really good mood.
I approach a few girls and whilst I get a mix of girls in relationships, girls who are busy and don’t have time to talk and a few who are interested and exchange numbers, I’m looking for an interaction I can take quite far. Basically, someone I can talk to. Instant date. Go for a walk. Go for a drink. And just take it as far as I can. Bouncing from place to place.
It doesn’t take long. After a few approaches to warm up and just get some interactions out of the way. I find a nice, young blonde Russian girl who likes the interaction with me, is just touring the city for a few days and is open to making instant plans to spend time together.
I can’t really remember what I suggested. Normally, I try and find a close coffee shop or bar to sit down and have a drink. As far as I can recollect we take a 30 minute walk beside the river and I show her a few sites on the way as we head towards a very nice central park, by the river with a nice bar.
As I’ve been meeting girls and getting to know them very well in a short amount of time, I pretty much try to push the boundaries. To newbies, I’d advise taking them to a place very close, because you don’t want to overcomplicate things. But since, I’ve done this a while I do want to complicate things I want to try and get as familiar as possible within a short amount of time. I want the girl to feel like we’ve known each other a couple of months after a couple of hours.
So the frame I come from with this, is as soon as the girl gives me a mini commitment (agreeing to having a drink with me at that moment) and I’ve worked out her logistics (she has a few hours and she’s not meeting anyone). I drag out her time as much as possible, whilst at the same time making her feel like we’re old friends and making the time spent very easy for her.
Everyone has their own style and this is mine when I’m travelling in Europe and don’t know many people in the city.
Anyway, we finally get to the bar in the park. After 30 minutes of walking by the river and talking. I mix comfortable chit-chat, with a few innuendos, jokes about her, and challenging questions. The interaction basically has this back and forth momentum. She feels comfortable, but before she gets to comfortable/bored with the conversation I throw her a curve ball just to liven the conversation up a bit.
It seems to work quite well, and I find it makes me engage in the conversation. Otherwise, I’d just get bored as fuck.
To be honest. I don’t really remember too much about the conversation. I guess a couple of things about her. Tell her some funny, borderline inappropriate stories about people I know, situations I’ve been in. Just enough to grab her attention, but not crash through the social red flags of being too inappropriate. It’s kind of like a fine balance of walking on a tightrope.
Anyway, we sit down at the bar by the river. And have a drink. She tells me about how great it is to be away from her stressful management job and take time out to relax in a really nice city. She tells me how frustrating it is dealing with outsourced IT workers in Asia and how there’s a lot of stuff lost in translation as English isn’t either of their first languages.
I try and bring out her mischievous side/rebellious side by asking if she ever let’s her dark side get the better of her. What’s the most rebellious thing she’s ever done etc. Between chit-chat. She knows the momentum the conversation is moving in. Doesn’t resist it. But at the same time I don’t overkill and push my foot right on the gas, as I’m basically going along with my mood and her mood.
You can rev things up to move things faster, but when it’s a hot day and you’re feeling sweaty and a bit tired (I’d had 30 mins sleep on the plane), you’re not going to be in the right mood to make things happen fast. And if you can’t summon the mood inside yourself, you won’t be able to summon it in her.
But it get’s dark. We go to another bar and have a beer together. This one is by a central bridge. After some more chit-chat which I can hardly remember I take her to the bridge to look at the view. At this point we’ve spent around 4 hours together. And this is the first time I’d met her. But pick-up can be like a mutually hypnotic activity. You both feel you’ve known each other much longer.
So I take her to the bridge. We look at the view. After some chat, I try and move in to kiss her. She resists. I find this interesting. She obviously likes me. Otherwise, why the fuck would you spend 4 hours with a stranger and let them lead you several kilometres around the city?
My guess as to why she resisted. She either has a belief that it’s wrong to kiss a guy she’s only known for 4 hours and that “men should wait longer” or she has a boyfriend/husband.
She tells me the reason. She has a boyfriend. Well isn’t that interesting? 4 hours with a stranger, and she stops at kissing because of the BF. At this point I have no real need to get involved with girls in relationships, but I find it interesting she’s invested so much time with me.
So why isn’t he here with you I ask? She tells me that she’s on holiday alone, because they’re on a break and she’s assessing the relationship. I ask her if she loves him. She says she doesn’t think they’ll get married and will break up soon.
I tell her something or other about the fact that their must be some reason for her being on the bridge with me at that precise moment. Otherwise, if she wasn’t interested she wouldn’t have come with me this far.
She playfully rejects the idea, but as I probe further she agrees that it doesn’t make sense logically. I tell her that I think we should kiss and then she can make up her mind if she wants to stay with her boyfriend or not.
Just as a disclaimer. I was actually being quite empathetic towards her situation. I’ve been in relationships that were only heading in the wrong direction and thought it would be best for her to move further along with the momentum she was going in to help her get clear on whether she wanted to be with her guy or not.
Anyway, she agrees and we kiss. I try and take it further and take her to her apartment. I drop her off there, but she doesn’t want me to come inside because she needs to make her mind up about her boyfriend.
Next day, we’re both leaving the city. I manage to convince her to meet me at 12pm and go for a quick drink. As it turns out she literally was staying a street away from me. She admits she really enjoyed meeting me. In the earlier email exchange she insisted she didn’t think a short-casual relationship would help her solve her problems.
But, I punted at getting her to meet me at the last minute and she agrees. The quick drink turns into 3 hours and 3 bars, having a few alcoholic beverages. We start kissing in several bars and I grab her ass and tell her naughty things. She’s not resisting too much. I’m thinking that perhaps our encounter will go all the way before she leaves.
I take her back to hers, she doesn’t resist. We’re kissing in the dark hallway just before the staircase to her apartment. I lift her skirt up and grab her ass. She lets me. However, this is the thing with girls…
At this point she has an anti-slut mechanism going off in her head. “I have a boyfriend”. “I’ve only known this guy 2 days”. “It’s already moving very fast etc.” To try and get round this I just suggest going into her apartment for 5 minutes. From there, we can see if the situation changes. You don’t really won’t to be to explicit, otherwise it’s too much of a big hoop for her to jump through. Anyway, after a couple of tries. And whilst still, kissing her, grabbing her ass, and trying to rub her over her panties, which is where she pulls away a little. We both go back home. In this situation, there was only so far I could push it.
But it is a testament to the fact that things can happen fairly quickly if you keep pushing. Although, you have to work out where the line is between where she won’t go any further.
She emails me and tells me how much she enjoyed meeting etc. We’ve had a few exchanges back and forth. She split up with her boyfriend. And wants to meet this summer in some European city. This is a much stronger commitment. She’ll feel less of a slut because there’s been a longer interaction time and she no longer has a boyfriend.
We’ll see what happens. More stories to follow…
Feel free to ask questions.
Alex