I tinder. You tinder. Everyone tinders.
Actually I tindered way too much in the past two years and had tons of matches and conversations as well as of dates (dating is a several topic, in this post I will just focus on the 'tinder' or dating-app part). Some of my friends often call me a 'player' or 'gigolo' because I get so many matches on tinder and women even initiate the conversation with me. My friends call me lucky (which is absolute bullshit as I will explain). It's all about doing it right.
Some of my buddies look really good and only get 2-5 matches overall. Why? Because they ignore some basic things that are crucial to be successful in online dating. These are things most persons do not consider as important. Let me share my experience to improve your number and quality of matches!
I deleted my tinder account about twenty times and tried different strategies, different profiles, different profile texts, different openers, basically everything. Is this already some kind of empirical research? Just kiddin’. Let me point out what I learned in a condensed version:
For the first picture - choose a picture with just yourself! Whoever watches your profile has to clearly identify you. If you are not alone on your first picture, others will either think that you are the worst-looking person of the group or that you need the cheerleader effect (people look better in a group than alone). They will simply swipe left because they are overstrained and think: 'Who do you think you are having a group photo in your profile at first place? Are you serious? Come on, show yourself or get outta here'. And they are damn right. Normally it does not even take a second till we decide to swipe left or right. Do not wast girls’ time with group photos at first place.
On the other hand I learned that photos that show you having fun with others are very important! In my experience it’s best to have a group photo as your photo #3 or #4 (when girls have already seen who you are and how you look). Why are these group photos important? Because they show your social value. For women, social value is a very interesting part when it comes to sexual partners. It can be explained from an evolutionary perspective: Men who do not coordinate and act as members of a group had less chance to survive. This also implicates they are not very good potential fathers. And that means: women do not consider to have a baby (or to sleep) with a man in ego-mode because it’s less likely their children will survive. And that’s what it is all about when it comes to sexual attractivity. Survival and passing on your genes. You can observe every day that social value is a really important factor when looking at couples. I mean not that I want to discriminate anyone…. but why would Heidi Klum chose to marry Seal? Why have some fat guys girlfriends that look like models? Social Value! Show that you have friends. Show you are a person that is able to communicate with others.
Take quality pictures and keep your clothes on. have your face clearly visible. You may even consider to get professional photos or ask a friend to take some photos of you. Do not even think about bathrooms and photos in front of mirrors. Do you really think anyone likes to see the place where you take a shit? What do you think of girls who take bathroom photos? Have you ever swiped right? Possibly no.
Smile on your photos! Girls swipe hundreds of men in their tinder app. The very first impression counts and my personal experience is that it is better to have a photo that shows you smiling than anything else. Girls like men who are happy with theirselves.
Be creative with your photos. Always remember that you need a 'unique advertising proposition' or 'unique selling proposition' as people from marketing business would say. Girls have hundreds of men in their tinder app and if they look good most of the men they like are matches. Distinguish yourself from others. You do something special like hiking, surfing, whatever? Great. Show it in your pictures! You travel a lot? Show your photos. Be unique. This will also make it easier for women to open a conversation ('Hey… that picture looks amazing… where did you take it?' etc).
Have a profile text! Really really really important! Yes. Have a profile text. Ideally something funny, humorous or some random facts about you. Not your size, age, education etc but something like 'I like snow… the white one. The really white one, you know..' or 'I pull on doors that are marked with push'. You get the idea. The other important thing regarding profile texts is that it should make it easy for women to open a conversation with you. You can even write a question in your profile text. I wrote 'Yes. Absolutely. We will do this, why not? …. what have you thought about when you read this?' and it worked pretty well. Women are curious. The like to read long profile texts.
When you start a conversation: Do something unique. Never ever just write 'hi', 'hello', 'whats up?', 'how it is going?' or any of these boring phrases. Girls receive hundreds of uncreative messages every day. Don't bore them to death! Just 'hello' is usually part of a very boring conversation. It’s better to have an opener that refers to her pictures or profile text or something funny. For me e.g. 'Red or white whine for tomorrow? I need to know now because I am doing my weekly purchasing now' worked nicely. If you are not creative chose funny lines from the internet: 'We matched because we are both naturally awesome' or something like this.
Be funny. Texting skills is something you have to learn. Don’t be disappointed or discouraged when a girl unmatches you or the conversation was awful. That’s totally normal! The best strategy is to have good writing skills and combinate humor with sexual allusions. There are no natural talents for this. If you want, I can show you some text examples in another post.
These advices do work! I am the living proof!
I hope this helped you a bit to avoid the most common mistakes on dating apps.
Thank you for reading!
