Dating. I let out a huge sigh after typing that single word. Nowadays, with dating applications the likes of Tinder, dating can feel very dog-eat-dog. Most women have a tendency to approach it as some sort of competition, more worried about how attractive they are in comparison to the other women out there. This angle only serves to promote insecurity and the idea of scarcity. The average man, on the other hand, enters the realm of dating as if it were an all-you-can-eat buffet. This testing of the waters is how it should be for both sexes. However, it seems that most men'll try a little taste of this and that without ever committing to or remaining faithful to a main course.
What Women Need to Understand
Scarcity is an illusion. Approached from the survival of the fittest mindset, there'll always be a more attractive woman. And this is why it's pointless to try to compete or to even worry about other women. True beauty radiates from within, and it won't matter what's on the exterior if we, ourselves, don't claim our own inner light. Self-love must be prioritized first. We must be the love we want, because the inner gives rise to the outer.
We're all equally worthy of both the inner and the outer love we need (self-love) and desire (love of/with another). While there may be plenty of fish in the sea, there's also only one you. Each of us has our own unique flavor that can never be replicated. So, ladies, it's okay to join the men in the buffet and try several outfits on for size. That's how we learn what's right for us in a relationship, and also what just doesn't work.
In the end, quality always triumphs over quantity. If you don't try several dishes, you'll never find your favorite one. But you definitely don't want to eat at the buffet everyday either. Notice how you rarely feel satisfied after leaving a buffet, just stuffed full of fillers? Going to some place to order a favorite entree can truly fulfill because it's exactly what we wanted. It's hitting the spot, whereas at a buffet, it's hit-and-miss. Rather than actually focusing on what's currently on our fork, we're wondering if we should save room for something better that we might have overlooked.
The Truth About Men
Men want to fall in love, and be loved in return, just as much as women do. The difference lies in the approach, in the how this happens. And it's counter-intuitive to how women think it should be, due to polarity. Not all men are pigs or want to be bachelors forever. And not all men are unfaithful.
A man clings to his freedom for as long as he can because he's naturally inclined spread his seed. When a man commits to a woman, he usually does so with it in the back of his mind that this might be the last woman he's ever going to have sex with. And that can threaten his masculinity. But a man also deeply desires to find a woman that inspires him to be the best version of himself. Not by her prompting either, but by simply being who she truly is. And by wanting to be the kind of man that can make her smile.
This concludes today's article for my 30 Days, 30 Posts challenge. Tomorrow's topic of discussion is Winter. The previous article was on Touch.