We are living in a world that is constantly changing. The transformation is deep, touching all aspects of our lives including our relationships with other people. As we grow, expand and alter our points of views, belief systems, and personal virtues, the chances become higher for us to find matching mates outside our close and regular circles. Those mates could be living far away, in distant countries, and through the internet, we can initiate communication and then interact with them towards a relationship.
For that aim, I thought it would be beneficial for you to have short basic guidelines that might serve you in your next virtual relationship towards your ONE. As always, the best way to learn something is to try and experience it yourself but sometimes life gets easier when you allow the wisdom of more experienced individuals.
Credit: lifewire
The guidelines - Dos and Don'ts
The first thing to remember is to listen to yourself. Don’t just try dating websites because everybody does it or because your friend has been bugging you for ages. Rather, do it because you feel the urge; because your inner voice has led you to that; because a magical coincidence has happened in your life and literally took you to such a website. For further explanation about this issue read this article.
Do not create an account on a dating website in order to conduct an active search. That would only put you in the midst of a mind game that in turn would attract to you people who would mirror an aspect of yours rather than your full and core essence, true love. If you felt the urge and did create such an account make sure that your stay on that dating website is efficient and appropriate. That means make your time there concise and focused. Don't maintain an active account for more than a few weeks. If during that time no significant contact was created or your browsing through the profiles did not come up with a heart-touching mate, then delete or suspend your account and leave. Know that your time has not come yet and you are still requested to do more inner work. Don't judge the urge that has guided you. Bless the experience. Then, go back to yourself, go deeper to connect with your inner essence, learn more about who you are. All along keep your trust high. Trust that when the time comes you will find a mate and that will happen effortlessly. Like magic.
Know that online dating is not a substitute for real dating. It is a mean. As such your end goal should be to get involved in a physical relationship. The sex is not the issue but rather the sensual living of such relationship (i.e., the experimenting through all your senses). Online dating is done mainly through written words, and sometimes with the aid of voice and video chats. That, however, could never be enough for your soul-self. Such interactions cannot and should not replace the face-to-face experience.
Consequently, make your intention and purpose clear. Convey the message to your potential online partners. Let them know exactly what you are looking for. Write it clearly on your profile or tell them directly during your first virtual chat. Being open and honest will save you both much time and frustration.
The online interaction has a huge advantage – it creates a safe space for you to get to know the various facets of your partner. Use it. Ask questions, share information, indulge in deep conversation, learn about their values, their background, the music they like, their set of spiritual virtues. The internet offers myriad of tools, other than the chats themselves, such as online games, common creative projects, and personal tests. (During 2019 I will bring to your attention self-tests that I drafted for that purpose).
Feel. Feel. Feel. Get out of your mind. The virtual means for interaction are an illusion. Remind that to yourself. No matter how much information you may gather about your partner, you must feel your way through. Relationships are based on emotions and feelings, and not on pieces of intellectual knowledge.
Be attentive to the developing dynamic. Where does this virtual relationship lead to? Are you about to meet each other? A relationship, any relationship, creates its own identity, as if it has its own consciousness. Does this new entity have a real and tangible essence? The best way to know is to schedule a physical meeting. If your plans to meet each other don’t manifest within several weeks then you better wrap up the interaction and let it rest. Engaging in further virtual communication would only cause you unnecessary stress.
Above all and everything – trust! Trust that you are led to the perfect place. If the relationship doesn’t flourish; if you don’t see yourselves coming out of the virtual to the real, then trust that this is not the love of your life. Bless the energies, take what you have learned, and farewell your partner.
Watch the details of the communication – Do your partners respect you? Do they return your emails? Do they care about your wishes? Do they answer your questions or do they ignore them? Are they using appropriate language during your conversations or are they humiliating you? These are small tells that testify of bigger and deeper things. If you feel unloved and disrespected now, don’t expect things to change when you’ll meet.
Have compassion and do not judge. Your partner might not have answered your email because they were busy with some family affair. They might be offline for days due to bad internet connection. Understand that and accept their explanation. However, if such behavior repeats itself then something is not right. Bless the energies and say goodbye.
Be selfish. Never forget the basic truth that underlines your reality – any relationship is first and foremost a relationship with yourself. Love yourself, treat yourself kindly. Know that you deserve to be treated respectfully and honorably also within a virtual relationship; perhaps especially in such a relationship. Any compromise from your end, thinking that online dating is not the real thing, will mark the beginning of the end.
