Journaling For Your Relationship
Most of us think that journaling is more or less outdated, a thing that only hipsters and over-emotional girlfriend types do or just hands down, lame.
I disagree, but before we start there
.. what about those that don't avoid journaling outright....
Well, there is no time like the present!
When Did You Journal Last?
Its been TWO WHOLE WEEKS for me... though in fairness, I have taken notes or added to one of my lists.
This day and age, journaling is less popular, for a number of reasons and I find that sad. It is also why I named this article what it is. It isn't about the ways journaling will help you when dating or an urge to start journaling.
Journaling is Needed for Dating and Marriage
While people are all unique and different, thus creating a wild array of relationship types, at the core if it, relationships of all kinds require certain things in order to evolve in a healthy manner.
Consider that all interpersonal, social or sexual relationships require the following:
- A desire to be in a relationship.
- Willingness to be in relationship.
- Agreement or acceptance of relationship.
Trust and some form of communication are also needed, of course. There is an innumerable amount of personal additions that can contribute to a healthy relationship, but all of them are worthless if they are based in impure or faulty intentions.
For this reason, journaling can be a worthy endeavor.
I write this partially for a personal reminder, and partially for the few people that may actually read it. The fact of the matter is, so many of us think that we are going into decision making processes with all of the facts because we know certain aspects of ourselves to be true. But do we really?
How do we know that we feel a certain thing and that those feelings are based on actual chains of events?
How do we test our own personal knowledge and verify that we are living in a reality that is true and shared with others? People feel things all the time that are not accurate or are overly dramatic or that are not shared with those around us. We see this in the case of people getting angry and people who are in love. The world is peppered with our own personal revelations and presumptions based upon the world around us.
Journaling cuts to the core. By writing things down on a day-to-day basis and being responsible with our words, we can start to create a data log of events and start to see patterns that we don't necessarily notice in the moment. This is why it is so vital to create a data record of our own lives. If we truly care about another person then is it not our responsibility to protect them from all things, including ourselves? It is silly to presume that just because we feel something in the moment that it is accurate.
Being in love with somebody is not something that just happens. Much like being a responsible parent after having a child, is it not our responsibility to create, or to at least aim for the creation a harmonious and ethical existence?
Love is Responsibility
I would argue that love is a responsibility and those of us that do not try to be responsible for our own feelings don't deserve that love in the first place.
There is no wrong way to journal either. So long as you are focusing on your words, you actions and your thoughts. I usually say that it is best to focus on the actuality of what happens, what you actually said or what actually happened. Over time you will notice a trend.
In time, a negative trend is reflected. Gratitude are uplifting and easier to read later on.
Speaking of negativity in journaling , this article is about one woman's experiment in relationship accountability. She wrote all of the mean things she said. It is a good example of being accountable to your words.
In the end though, you're likely to get something from the practice. The key is consistency.
Share Your Story
Was there ever a time that you had misdirected thoughts or feelings that didn't match up to reality? Maybe your partner did?
