Finding a means of sustenance today is as easy as a few clicks on a “Grub Hub” app, making a two minute phone call to your local pizza shop, or driving up to a widow and receiving your order in thirty seconds. How our ancestors who had to face daily fears of finding the next meal would envy us today. Even if you don’t understand what a calorie is or what the basics of nutrition are, it’s generally understood that the easier the access to the meal, the worse kind of fuel it is to be putting into our bodies.
If we understand that this type of food “gathering” is not the best for us, can we apply this same model to other things such as say “online dating”. Today, if you want to date a cowboy, a red head, a christian, or if you’re just looking for a casual encounter, the internet has simplified the way “man” looks to find a partner. With the click of a button, we can be enjoying the company of someone who peeks our interests in a matter hours where as before, you had to go through the grueling process of “dating”. We’ve traded in the work of trying to find a partner because we either find the process uncomfortable, time consuming, or any other excuse to not make an honest effort.
If we know the negative effects of “fast food”, has it finally hit the mainstream of ideas that “online dating” is the fast food of dating? That if we aren’t willing to put the work or the effort into finding someone we want to spend the rest of our lives with, start a family, and find true happiness, then how can we expect this model to work if the same model for food doesn’t give us abs of steel or the arms of Arnold.
When we substitute hard work in anything in life whether that be learning to play guitar or studying for a big test, we typically receive the results of what effort we put into it. And we should own and accept our shortcomings.
This by no means is a jab at those fortunate enough to have found love and happiness with the online dating scene as there are many cases of great success stories. Just as there are people who have found love in a bar. But I think we should look at online dating as finding love in the wrong places motto as the bars do.
Instead of us trying to find someone, we should just let it happen. Let the course of life, while we follow our passions steer, us into that person we never expected to find. Take up a cooking class, learn to dance, participate in group activities, volunteer, and strive to accomplish the things we’ve always wanted to like learning a new language to fill the time in between. If we all try to do these things little at a time, not only will we learn more about ourselves and like ourselves more, but as we become happier inside it will become easier to have the confidence when we do run into that person who was waiting for us all along. No person can make us happy except for one. Our self.