has anyone else experienced being single now versus 10 years ago?? Things have changed a lot!! There was a time when my friend set me up with her boyfriend's friend, and Because I met my date through a friend, I had 2-3 unspoken references that could legitimize everything the person said about themself. my friend could tell me in advance the person's dating history, and whether the person was great or not. Now, I have to rely on my gut or sixth sense 90% of the time, and let me tell you, my sixth sense to spot a terrible person is not great, as I tend to see the positive in everyone! there was a time when we relied on meeting people in the daily ongoings of our life like sports and grocery stores. It was great because we didn't need to actually take time out of our schedules to meet people. I kind of feel the first meeting with an online date is to see if any of the chemistry and physical attraction is there. A lot of that really can't be seen in messaging with someone. The thought that I could meet someone without an online app matching me with them first, no longer even crosses my mind.
What I really want to talk about though, is how disposable our dating experiences have become. The next person is one swipe away, so I believe this means people invest less time and energy before moving onto the next. Also, if they find one or more qualities in a person they dislike, they are less willing to settle and more likely to cut their losses after a month or two, and move on. You can easily end up going through 4-5 short term relationships in a generally short period of time. I've had 5 suitors in less that 4 years, and that's only counting the people that made it past 3 months.
One could argue that people have more options, and are better matched, because they have more dating experiences, and learn better what they want and need from a relationship. Others would say it has led to a generation of overstimulated and non committal adults trying to find the perfect partner, when no one is truly going to be perfect. It's possible that people pass up all kinds of potential matches because they constantly think there could be someone better, and that "better someone" can be found from their living room couch. Don't get me started on the fact that potentially, they could be on a date with them THAT very night. We all go through a day here and there where our partner is just not making the cut, but how much harder is it to work through those times, when you can literally find someone new from your couch!? I rest my case!
I am still on the fence deciding whether these online apps are more positive than negative. You see, I have a "never settling" attitude about dating, and it has been easier to have that attitude with so many options all the time. I blame my "never settling" attitude on a taste of what a bad marriage felt like at the age of 18. I think to myself "I sure never want to feel caged up like that again !!" That's another story, but I would say it has turned me into one of those people that can't handle too much conflict before throwing in the towel. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Will I end up with a better matched husband, or will I be single forever and constantly thinking the grass is greener? That remains to be seen. Until then, I'm trying my best to navigate modern dating and want to document my experiences and all the confusing things I come across. Finding love is a truly fascinating journey, and I enjoy sharing my stories.