I've been lucky enough to secure tickets for the David Bowie exhibition at the V&A Storehouse in London, which I'll be attending tomorrow, Saturday, 27th September 2025. As you can imagine, the demand for tickets was high, and I was reminded of a scene from The Big Bang Theory when the characters were trying to get tickets for Comic-Con. There I was at 09:59, hitting refresh desperately, so I thought, to enter the site. Some of you will already know that, in fact, you enter a kind of holding room.
I was gobsmacked to find I was number a hundred and something in the queue: "How's that work? I entered bang on 10 am!" There was nothing for it but to wait and pray that the site didn't crash, my connection didn't freeze, or some other 'thing' designed to ensure I was unsuccessful. Obviously, I was doing this during work time; I'd shut my door, which always seems to be a red flag for people. I can go days with my door open and nobody bothers me, the moment it's closed, it seems like people are: "Ooh, his door is shut? I must talk to him about something totally unimportant." I watched the little man walk across my screen while I waggled the mouse around, intent on not letting my display go to sleep.
The site informed me that I would have ten minutes to make my transaction. Do you know how quickly ten minutes can fly by? As if I wasn't stressed out enough they now tell me I've only got ten minutes! Thirty minutes in, and I'm still clutching the piece of paper with the dates on that the missus can attend while ensuring my Debit Card is the right way up to read my account details. There are forty-eight people in front of me! " THIS IS KILLING ME! " The little man seemed to take two steps every three minutes; I literally watched and counted. Forty-five minutes and I'm at position thirty-two. "You watch, all the tickets will be gone or at least for the dates I want." Ten minutes to go, I'm number twenty-three. My daughter starts WhatsApp'ing me. "GO AWAY!" Three minutes, I'm eleven places away. "COME ON!" One minute, six places to go. After a smidge under an hour.
I'M IN!
I'm presented with a calendar, and most of the dates have gone or have only one ticket available. The 27th has six tickets available for 10:00 a.m., and I have selected two. Now comes the payment. What to do? Do I manually input my card details or use PayPal? PayPal, it'll be quicker with PayPal. Of course, it's not faster. Why? Because PayPal now has authentication security. OMG! Quick! Open MS Authenticator, COME ON! COME ON! My ten minutes must be nearly up?
Talk about stress; I think I aged about five years.
Sadiq Khan's Protection Racket
V&A East Storehouse
Parkes Street
Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park
E20 3AX
I did look at train times, but our local village halt doesn't get its first train until around 6 am, and then we'd have to get to Birmingham, catch a train to Euston, get out and walk to a tube station, catch a tube for a few stops, get out and walk to another tube station, what a faff! I'll drive.
The storehouse is in the ULEZ zone (Ultra Low Emission Zone ), so I'll have to pay for the (so-called) pleasure of skirting the capital. Now, my son-in-law warned me that the TFL (Transport For London) website is basically designed to not let you pay the congestion charge. If you don't, the fine is £80.00. When you look at the site, you think it's helpful but:
Put the postcode in: TFL: "Ooh, lovely. It's inside our charge zone; you'll have to pay."
This was my first problem with the site. It provided me with multiple options for the postcode E20 3AX. I dunno which one? I've never been there before!
Put your reg in: TFL: "Your car is a polluting smoke box, you'll have to pay."
OK, it's £12.50 for ULEZ, I'll pay it. You're presented with two calendars. "Hmm? The weekly one hasn't got the 27th on? OK, I'll use the monthly one." What the site doesn't tell you is that the monthly calendar is if you want to select multiple days. I gave up. "I'll wait until it's closer to the 27th and use the weekly one."
Yesterday [25/08/25] I went back on the site. Now, what I hadn't noticed before was that they have an 'autopay' option. You need to create an account, add a payment method, and they will bill you each time you go through a zone or the Tunnels (Blackwall & Silvertown). This seemed a far better option to me, and seeing as creating an account costs nothing, I'm set if I ever drive down to Londinium again.
An error occurred
Where did I put my surprised face? I started to create my account, and the page fell over. What was my son-in-law saying about how the site seemed to be determined to set you up to get fined? I rang the number:
Me: "Hi there, I was trying to set up an account, but the website fell over and gave me this number to call."
TFL: "Can I have your account number, please?"
Me: "As I said, I don't have an account."
TFL: *"Can I have your mobile number, please?"
Me: "Yes, it's .............."
TFL: "I can't find your account?"
Very aware of the long and intensive warning message about the treatment of staff prior to being connected, I bit my tongue.
Me: "As I said a number of times, I do not have an account. I just want to pay the ULEZ charge."
Cut a long story short, I paid the charge. The guy asked me if I wanted a receipt. I gave him my email address, but I could tell he was struggling with it. Fortunately, the automated payment system asked the same question, and I elected to have a text sent to me, which I duly received; hopefully, that's paid.
Now I decided to install the App on my phone. After installing the app, it asked "Would you like to set up autopay?" Yes, I would. Talk about easy! Boom, I have an account, and autopay is set up. Now there's only one thought that has crossed my mind. You watch, I bet when I go to London tomorrow, even though I've already paid the autopay will kick in and charge me again!
Obviously, I'll write a follow-up after attending the exhibition, but given my history, something is bound to happen to me. 😆
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My actual name is Pete. This is why I have the username dickturpin
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