My dad died abruptly from cancer and I grew up and became a real adult in a split second. I remember it vividly. I was standing in the hallway at home, I got the phone call. My dad’s cancer and death, my worst nightmare, became reality.
Here's my dad proud in his element. He loved gardening.
It is interesting how big events in life ‘let us’ change and grow. I grew really fast when my dad got sick, his death and during the year of sorrow that followed. To give you a pie-piece idea.. I felt like I had to step up as the man of the house - for my sisters particularly. So I was forced to face a choice of either stay a victim and keep digging myself into a hole and stay there depressed and sad, OR to step up to the plate and see love and death is yet another example of the paradox of life. Two sides of the same coin. That even though I might feel weak, I am also strong. Even though I’m suffering and sad, a part of me felt a release - and dare I say even excitement for my father's death. That might sound awful but bare with me. Nothing in life - and I mean nothing just IS a certain way. We automatically label our experience as good, bad, sad, joyful, anger, happiness etc. We experience life happening through this human experience. And our human experience only consists of a fraction of the full spectre of energy unfolding at any moment. Point being, we label what happens, and you are the label-maker.
My father's death was as much a part of me dying as it was my father's physical death. And as we all know, the old need to burn for the new to grow.
Our friend, Zan said it well during one of his stays with us in Oslo; Every great life has had in it, a renunciation. It is no other way around it. If you want change, and I think you do, you have to change everything in your life. It's the way it goes.
Everything in my life changed involuntarily when my dad died, and it looked like hell on earth, but it - apparently - was the best-disguised blessing I ever saw. The realest of illusions.
So, there you go. That was my big renunciation. I stepped up.
In two years…
I turned my financial situation back on it’s feet from a debt that grew hundreds of dollars a day to a passive income now growing hundreds and sometimes thousands of dollars every day.
I went from having aching pains in my foot, knee, leg and pelvis that really, really bothered me, made me angry and stole my focus most days to now rid myself from the pain.
I was very confused and at one point had psychotic behaviour and now I’m balanced, grounded and clear-minded.
My smiles per hour have definitely increased to say the least ;)
And the most beautiful thing is; I feel like my dad is still with me. His death felt too fast. Like I wasn't ready, but I think we're never ready for a shock like losing our parents. The following might sound strange to some of you, but I felt like my father's cup of knowledge had slowly dripped into my cup while he was alive, and when he died, energetically, it was like he emptied the remains of his cup into mine. Even his darkest secrets, for me to carry now. My tears metaphorically represent an overflow of knowledge that I wasn't ready for but had to receive. Maybe you can understand how I felt like his death was both like the world came down on my shoulders while at the same time I felt empowered.
Yeah, I know, deep shit or whatever.. This newsletter is not only about picking up chicks anymore ;)
As I love sharing, I’m experimenting with making travel-videos. I have done a couple before called Stories On The Road, and I just released another one. I’d love to get some feedback, any feedback, so if you can comment on the Youtube-video and let me know you're alive and kicking, that’d be dope!
Here's the video:
Until next time, which I promise will be soon, take care!
<3
Morten
PS. My website is under construction, but surely we're getting everything up and running again - in time. That includes my online products as well. I know some of you have been asking for them.