Am I really going to post a public statement of my finances in order to find investors, as I promised in my previous post about calculated stable loans? Yes, I think this will be interesting for other readers too. It's a rather peculiar existence to be a struggling freelancer in a welfare state not designed to accommodate such a lifestyle. I bet Americans will be surprised to see how low these numbers are on all sides.
Debt
I can't simply 'max out my credit cards'. My bank already cut me off years ago. I'm considered a credit risk simply because I'm poor, even though I never defaulted on a loan. This is the general European approach to risk management, guided by central bank rules. There's no point in looking for a more flexible bank.
This means I only have a limited amount of commercial debt: €2590, consisting of €1600 in bank credit and €990 in payment plans.
On the other hand, I have accumulated a significant amount of private debt: €7850. I'm looking for new investors because I exhausted the generosity of my family and friends.
In total, I borrowed €10,440, most of which does not require monthly payments yet. The amount I absolutely need to pay back every month is €300. Tonight I cashed out the money I made from trading Hobonickels on Freiexchange in order to fund the monthly payment for my blocked credit card, conveniently postponed due to the long Easter weekend.
To be precise, in this list I'm not counting the bills I skipped paying strategically, which is a rather fluid situation. Update: this includes my actual rent for April and amounts to €815. Which increases my total debt to €11,255.
My beloved Fiat Stilo, sold in May 2025
Assets
Nothing to report here. I already sold my car and only have trace amounts of crypto left. Maybe I could sell some random stuff like books, puzzles, T-shirts and obsolete electronics, but it would take a lot of effort and yield less than €100.
On Easter Sunday, using the To Good To Go app, I bought a surprise package of bakery leftovers from the local supermarket for only €2.99. I'm on a cut in April and May; eating pastries until I get sick is an effective way to lower my appetite and lose weight.
Expenses
The most positive part of this sad story is that I have very low expenses. I'm paying €200 per month for business expenses and €1500 per month for personal expenses, of which €500 is covered by rent & health insurance subsidies. Of course these subsidies would decrease when my income increases. This makes a total of €1200 in expenditures, not counting payment plans or loan payments.
This means that I'll be able to pay off all my current debts within a year once I get regular work again. And it doesn't even have to be well-paid or full-time work.
In the second half of 2025, I saved around €200 per month in groceries thanks to the food bank. I stopped going there because it took too much time to sort and cook all those healthy groceries, making sure to eat or freeze them before they expired. They also gave me non-food items sometimes, and I still have some of those in stock, like shampoo, toothpaste and spaghetti.
On Sunday, I also bought more protein-rich food as well as tea for 87 cents, plus the deposit from Monster Energy cans I ordered online and didn't pay yet.
Income
The core problem is that AI ruined the translation market and I haven't been able to adapt quickly enough to find other work. I wouldn't have survived 24 years as a freelancer if I couldn't work hard. But I was used to getting a constant stream of offers, out of which I could pick the best ones. I get stressed out by communication, bureaucracy and having to sell myself. All of which is needed for finding new work, of course.
Last year, I considered getting a part-time temp job in a warehouse or as a delivery driver, but I missed the best opportunity by being sick. In other cases, they weren't eager to hire an overqualified 55 year old. On the other hand, I didn't have the right qualifications for semi-technical IT jobs I applied to. I'll keep trying though.
I wasn't eligible for income support for self-employed people, because I wasn't working enough hours. Which was the problem in the first place! Applying for regular unemployment benefits would mean I'd have to give up my business registration. And they'd push me to apply for temp jobs anyway, so I might as well go there directly.
In November 2025 and the first week of December I had a great translation job for a small software company. But I fried my brain by working 16 hours on the last day to complete it on time. Then I had to recover for two weeks.
January is always a slow time in the translation business. I tried to get more freelance jobs in human feedback for AI, which are widely available but usually badly paid, designed and organized. And to my surprise, many of such dead-end mind-numbing jobs require full-time availability. There were bureaucratic hiccups here too: I couldn't get access to task on a platform for which I already had an account, because no one told me I had to create a new one.
Anyway, in March I earned €710, which means I can almost pay my expenses when this is paid out at the end of April. At the moment, I'm in the process of applying for an AI feedback job which would bring in around €1000 this month. My goal for this month is to reach the €1500 I need for financial stability.
Between these struggles, I'm still dreaming of writing an educational book about crypto, raising much larger sums for a startup and starting a non-profit cyberpunk project. Do you want to see a future in which I can work on those dreams? Then please contact me to give me a loan and make money from the interest too.