Episode 3 in the Power of the Eyes saga.....

We learned in a previous article that, on average, we gaze for 3 seconds while making eye contact.⁽¹⁾ Also, that pupil dilation is a good gauge of comfort level during eye contact.

It is important to remember, when learning body language, that we really can only gauge comfort, and discomfort. Even then, only after establishing a "base line" (typical body language cues of an individual), and the signals must be interpreted in clusters. Nothing sure can be told from individual signals, and it must be weighed against a baseline, beyond that you can often infer much via context. This is not mind-reading, however.

^{(Image by Hive account@juliakponsford)}

Pupil Dilation

At the time, when I wrote the first two articles about our eyes, I was starting to learn how big of a role the size of our pupils have in our interaction with the world. But, I didn't know that there was anything I could do about it. Since then I've practiced in the mirror a bit to see if I could effect my pupil dilation, I found that if I sort of unfocus my eyes, this causes my pupils to grow larger. This leads into a good tip Michael Ellsberg gives us in his book "The Power of Eye Contact:"

To connect with both of your partner’s eyes at once, [...] take in your partner’s entire face, with your partner’s eyes at the center of your field of vision. (The Power of Eye Contact - Ellsberg)

As you soften your focus, you will lose some detail, but gain a lot in comfort and connection. So not only can you improve your eye-contact with this trick, but you can improve the way that others perceive you!

It's common knowledge that pupil dilation can be an indicator of attraction or sexual arousal.⁽²⁾ What you may not have known is that our pupils actually dilate more depending on how hard our brain is working!⁽³⁾ So, if you ask someone a question, you can tell how hard it is for them to answer the more their pupils enlarge. This also explains why people often break eye contact to speak, since they need to concentrate on what they are saying. This makes sense, when you are thinking hard, you aren't focusing on anything in your visual field, and then your pupils dilate.

It's been known that men find women with dilated pupils attractive since at least the 16th century. In renaissance Italy, women would use belladonna in their eyes. This was in order to dilate their pupils make themselves more attractive to potential partners.⁽⁴⁾

According to a 2004 study, it was found than men, indeed, find women with larger pupils more attractive. The thought behind this is that men are genetically pre-disposed to find a women more attractive if she appears to be aroused. These same scientists also supposed that women, in general, would find men with medium pupil dilation more attractive. Their reasoning was that the more "cool and collected" medium pupil dilators would prove to be better mates. However their studies showed that women tended to be attracted to both medium and large pupil dilation. They discovered that the women who found pupil dilation attractive, tended to date the proverbial "bad boy" type⁽⁵⁾.

^{(Image by Hive account@juliakponsford)}

Blink-rate

Blink rate is another interesting thing to notice while delving into the volumes our eyes speak. In general we blink more during conversations and less while reading⁽⁶⁾. Which explains why our eyes can get dry from looking at a computer screen for too long. Our spontanious blink-rate appears to be regulated by dopamine.⁽⁷⁾ Interestingly enough, dopamine also appears to be tied to our memory function.⁽⁸⁾ It seems as though we may blink more when locking information into our memory. Additionally, increased eye blink rate can indicate increased stress levels.⁽⁹⁾

Have fun looking for these signs out in the "real world" <3 And Stay Tuned for the Next Episode!

For more information about the power of eye contact, see another article I published recently.

@inquiringtimes - The Window to your Soul

Much love and thanks to the #deepthink crew for inviting me into their fold!!!

Episode 3 in the Power of the Eyes saga.....

Pupil Dilation

Blink-rate

References