Often when I talk to people about teen depression, I get a blank look in response. Surprisingly, many adults still believe some version of the “they’re kids; what do they have to be depressed about?” notion. Yet for most kids, childhood and the teen years that follow are filled with unbelievable amounts of stress. They are dealing with issues and problems most of us can’t even begin to imagine. Why is that?
A multitude of reasons. For starters, kids are dealing with huge pressures. Bullying and harassment are rampant, as are pressures to engage in sexual activity and drug use. Kids are coping with ill family members, troubled siblings, and parents who may have mental health issues themselves.
Kids are regularly used as go-betweens in divorce situations. In some households, teens have the responsibility of keeping house or caring for younger siblings because parents cannot. Many students must work to contribute to the family income. In addition, they have pressures from school to keep grades up while they are trying to cope with less than ideal home situations.
In addition, many parents have assumed more “friendly” relationships with their children than is probably healthy. As a result, kids have intimate knowledge of a lot of “adult” information. They know about their parents’ extramarital affairs, financial troubles, and work problems. This means that in addition to their own problems, they now have their parents’ problems to worry about, too.
All of these stresses combine to make adolescence a minefield of risks for kids.
What about supports? Unfortunately, many kids report that they don’t spend much quality time with their parents. As a result of hectic and overloaded schedules, families are eating dinner together less often, not talking as much, and in some cases, becoming isolated from each other. Kids increasing turn elsewhere for the attention and love they may not be getting at home. Sometimes these are healthy alternatives, sometime they aren’t.