We're encouraged by our society, at least here in the US, to naturally make things competitive, which could be part of the overall "divide and conquer" strategy of our rich rulers and architects of policy, etc.
When talking about our depression, anxiety, traumas, and so on....some people you speak with might compare, judge, & make you feel since they've done ok in life with their pains, that means you "should" as well. It isn't a competition, but some are QUICK to make it one, maybe to fill the need to get serotonin or dopamine out of it somehow.
Since we are taught to hide our wounds and grievances, we find the need to talk things out sometimes. When we do, that's when this misunderstanding seems to happen, and we hear people trying to make "living in a hell" a competition of sorts. Pay no mind. Just take note of the people who aren't quick to judge your pain(s) against their own....and keep those friends close.
Life is confusing but a beautiful mysterious....ride.
Keep close the people & ideas that don't add more shadows to your confusion but do add light and understanding.