I haven't posted anything on Steemit over the last four months in part because of work and in part because of a major depressive episode after a manic summer. Summer was great. If bipolar disorder was all mania and no depressive episodes, I would be happy to sign up for it voluntarily.
But the last four months have been a bit of hell on earth for me. For two of the four months, I could barely get out of bed, except to work or take my kids to school. I was more suicidal than I had ever been in my life, actually considering ways to end my life. I am convinced that if it wasn't for my children, I probably wouldn't be here, but the thought of exposing them to a suicide and thereby increasing their own chances of suicide was too much for me, thankfully. It is doubtful that I will have the energy to post on here very frequently, but I wanted to force myself to write something to try and re-engage with the process.
I'm still here and still alive. A new medication I have started specifically treats depressive episodes from bipolar disorder, and it is helping me. Hopefully my mood will continue to improve, and I will be more active in my life. One can hope.
