Time check, 1:28 AM. Three years ago I would be awake at times like this. Crying myself to sleep. Talking to myself and to God. Asking the same questions over and over and over and over. Why did this happen to me? What have I done wrong? How come? When did it start? Where do I begin again when I felt so lost. I was so worried about so many things most especially of how I will be able to raise the kids on my own.
Yes he cheated on me. He ran away with another married woman. And the irony of it is that he made me feel like it was all my fault which made it more difficult for me to forgive.
Then I started to see light again with the help of family and friends. I am amazed at the fact that I actually regained strength to support and look after my kids. I rediscovered myself (which I lost when I had a family) and surprised by the fact that I have become a better version of me. More driven, more enthusiastic, more mature and most of all I learned to love myself more.
It is now that I realised, it is true what they say that "The best revenge is to be happy." I am.My kids are. And I know it kills him.
Forgive? Not yet there. But it's on the way. Just paying the toll I guess.
So it's 1:31 AM now. Guess what I am not crying anymore at this time. lol.. Except when watching or reading something emotional. Sorry for being dramatic.