January 1st
Well here I am new years day, looked in the mirror this morning and gained another few grey hairs, and I swear that the wrinkles around my eyes I might have gained another two. Got up an extra hour earlier today to start with a good clear out around the house.
Invited the Mr to help me, but he seems disinterested, I was not at all surprised when all he seems to want to do is to flirt with his old work buddy which is 20 years his junior. You know it makes me laugh, to think I know everything that is going on in his mind, that he looks elsewhere for sex and yet here is me here for him 20 years and he is disinterested.
But I don't look that bad do I, sure I have a bit of a doughnut around me, and I may not be as adventurous as I once was. and then on the other hand 20 years has really aged me, where did that time go, even looking at the men on TV I used to fancy look older and even more attractive than they did years ago, I wonder why I don't have the same appeal.
Last night for new years eve was nothing special, infact the most exciting bit of the day was Mrs Dawson downstairs had a home help who had held her by the arm and I mistook it for a mugger and started to hit him across the head with a bag of shopping, I really hope that he does not consider pressing charges there was just one can of baked beans in there the rest were all soft goods.
So here you have it January the first and I am a 40 year old middle aged Gay has been, and to the point while I look in the mirror is now the time I ask myself do I just continue with this life, or do I want something more.
Interrupted by the phone, it was Dad who lectured me about being in a low incomed civil servant job and asking for me to come and work for the building firm again, hung up on him literally after 20 seconds, don't think he will be phoning again till March now, another distraction sorted.
So Happy New Year where to go from here?