What a slump the last few days have been | Diary

A few days ago a wave of uncertainty hit me as I was presented with a challenge. An old reminder that despite all the progress forward there are still debts to be paid off from last year. Debts that mean something as a friend has helped out when it was needed. It was always expected to eventually be called in, but seeing how accumulated payments to be paid back at once are eating into my financial buffer was a bummer.

Better to get it out of the way sooner than later! Note to self ;)

But with that surprising turn came a lot of heaviness. Nothing seemed to really work here. Issues were mounting out of nowhere - handling a trade poorly, feeling uninspired and stale and even ants entering the house the same day at new holes in the cement wall. All the challenges piling on at once. It was quite the thing to overcome in the mind.

But now, days later, I feel the old ease is coming back slowly. Getting back into the saddle and starting anew, from a new vantage point and threshold. The resources may have dwindled but at least that debt is out of the way - for now, first half anyways. Charts need to be redrawn and mind focus needs to be realigned.

I slept rather well last night and I feel re-ernergized after some realy stressful days here, so much calling for attention that has now subsided a bit, leaving me to focus on the mission forward once more.

And with no real surprise did I notice, that most of what I felt this past week also found itself on the world stage - lots of energetic challenges, lots of new fear porn regarding that freakin' evergreen of a hoax story that STILL makes headlines every single day. Madhouse Earth.

But then when I see that the intensity out there is so high. I feel less guilty and immobile when I find that energy in myself. More like another expression of the same tensity inherent in all human systems these days.

So I return to gratitude and the "one day at a time" philosophy that has brought me far and will undoubtedly bring me all the way. Especially through the days where I feel I ain't strong enough. Sleep it off, your mojo will always return! And you can play again, with gusto! Even if it takes weeks, pendulum will always swing back! Or rather: The swing I am sitting on ;)