What a year it has been! I cannot remember a year so densely packed with challenge, meaning and direction, a year of purpose and velocity, carrying me forward to where I have been longing to move to for pretty much the entire last decade.
All the things I thought would turn out challenging turned out to be the - dare I say - recreational counterweight to my passions. I always thought that my passions would resemble my recreation, that my vacation from the world, society and its contrived rules would come in the form of spending time with my passions. And while that is true to some extent, I found that the energetic qualities of my activities are what separated the challenges from the recreation...
Doing things along the lines of our societal conditioning came really easy this year. Against my expectations, doing a new job in the matrix had turned out to be one of the simplest things I did this year - working insane hours in a predictable pattern was really really easy to accomplish. It's that dim autopilot mode of doing things everybody is doing, with the backing of the majority of society - no matter how stupid or unnecessary the job is - that made me feel easy and non-worried.
Oddly, sitting down to make a new track - largely free from any contrived rules by other people who came before me - has not come any easier to me this year. As opposed to expectation.
I guess following the passions, meaning finding your own voice, your own mark in this world - will always come hard. Because an untrodden path is harder than even the dirtiest, most nasty trodden one.
But I somehow know that this is exactly where I need to continue towards, precisely because they are my passions. It's a battle worth having. It's amazing fun to do it while I am doing it, but making music to the degree and the vision I intend remains a tough road to walk. And a long one at that. Maybe it's the same with mastery of any skill - tough but rewarding.
And it's in this spirit that I end this gregorian year. Knowing that working on the passions and materializing them through hard work will be so much moe rewarding than walking the trodden path - controlled and contrived by the gang and the matrix.
For all your dreams, aspirations and passions: I wish you the best in the world to make them become your new foundation of existence. If you have a passion and it hurts to get to its mastery: Step it up. The pain is worth it. And all the tough passion-battles fought this year showed me: It's worth the pain. Because it's your pain <3
Happy new year
