People are doing all kinds of things to address diversity and inclusion challenges in different contexts.
Why do some conversations on diversity and inclusion tend to divide rather than connect?
Sometimes, I think folks miss the point that inclusion is actually about relationship and we try to move from conversation to action too quickly. Don't get me wrong, action is amazing and conversation, to the frustration of many, never gets to the action piece.
While I think outcomes from conversations need to be action oriented I think it can be a pitfall to move there to quickly
Inherent in mainstream culture is a tendency to move to action before solid relationship bonds have been formed. Action is important, and it makes a difference to me when I say, for example, that I would feel much more naturally comfortable if at least 3 of my seven housemates were people of color; then, everyone responds in kind by committing to making this a reality.
I love when the truth I say can be taken at face
value and people around me say, I trust your experience, so lead the way and we'll follow. That's the kind of trust I want to build. Though that kind of trust takes relationship, experience, cultural humility, and letting go.
Meanwhile, forward action oriented movement without building significant mutual understanding can be problematic.
For example, when folks say they are supportive only because they're afraid to voice dissent they could harbor resentment and scapegoat a target population as "the reason things are uncomfortable." How many times have you unreasonably though, everything would simply be better, or our problems would go away if so and so were gone?
Relationship building actually takes more time than people think, but saves lots in the long run
Oftentimes inclusion efforts are seen as this thing we need to "figure out." I don't advocate for inclusion because someone told me it's the right thing to do or because it's a good idea. I advocate because I've had the privilege of hearing firsthand the experiences of dear friends who oftentimes don't feel included or, for example, don't experience different privileges and challenges than I do in my white body in the US.
I believe the most sustainable, authentic, and intelligent change come from
places of relationship and connection. When we focus on relationship and build trust, we can more naturally bring more of where we are based on different perspectives and life experiences.
When I consider an inclusion initiative, aside from it's intention to be more diverse or not, I look to see if part of the strategy is to build relationship in ways that create a greater foundation of trust to hold differences. In some cases, this means thowing more parties and creating more opportunites for people to meet on common ground and get to know one another as wildly complex and extraordinary human beings.
What do you think???
