So here it goes I guess... My Hive introduction....
I find my first choice, a blog, ironic. I hope to string together random words to convey who I am and how I got here today. It is truly something that no words can explain. How does one explain the way the air feels before a storm? Something full of electricity yet utterly still... Unless one experiences it, how does one adequately express that feeling?
So I guess... I'll start with the basics....
I am 38 years old woman living on the east coast of the United States of America. I am a divorced mother of 2 beautiful boys. I work full time at a staffing agency. I enjoy reading, researching, making art- specifically painting and photography- all while learning and exploring the world in which we find ourselves living.
On a deeper, harder to explain level, I have experienced the complete cataclysm of my former life. On January 7th, 2019, another seemingly random Tuesday of my life, I went to my car on my lunch hour to call my then husband. We needed to have our usual blow out and clear the air. I expected the usual, a lot of repressed emotion nuclear vomited out of our souls, followed by the inevitable fact that we would work it out and continue life together till the end. However, this day was different. In a matter of minutes...Who I had been, who I was and what my life would be no longer existed. That knowing vanished and everything I thought had come into question. A little over a year later, not only was I divorced and alone, but I was also unemployed in a declared global pandemic. A complete cataclysm of my former life.
It's crazy waking up one day dreading the fact that your life would be a sequence of predicable milestones.. Then to go to sleep that night realizing it would never happen that way.... It's really a shattered reality... If you had told me on January 6th of 2019, I would have scoffed and told you that you were full of shit....
While this all may appear to be doom and gloom, I am posting this today because I want others to know it's not. Am I out of the storm? I have no idea. What I do know is that I am here today with the opportunity to try again... And this time maybe I can live the adventure that is my life in the way I have always wanted to.
Through all the struggle and pain, I studied and learned things that I always want to explore but was not accepted by those in my life. My goal initially was to find a way to never have my life fall apart again. But through time, learning about psychology, astrology, religion and science (to name a few), I found it's all connected. We are all arguing the same points from our paradigms of exsistance. I want to animate this knowledge into something useful and find a way to sustain my life by doing so... I need help though... Because I have no idea how... Honestly have no idea how to even use this site but my intuition brought me here today...
A couple of ideas I need help with:
- Starting a podcast talking about random subjects with random people from all walks of life.
- Selling my art (paintings and photos)
- Creating an anonymous database that combines science, astrology and general life experiences that can be used in analysis. Example: I have an what is considered an "invisible illness"- a sleep disorder. I have scientific documentation of my sleep studies that I can combine with astrology, along with the personal experience leading up to and during my studies. I'm not looking for any outcome... Just curious about any correlation. It would be an anonymous place to record what the user wanted about their life... Again, it all seems connected....
- Write a book showing patterns and correlation between seemingly unconnected subjects
So... There is my first post... Help or comments are greatly appreciated. A special shout out to 
Until my next post, wherever you find yourself while you read this---- enjoy the journey. Don't give up. Keep going. Life unfolds in ways that we don't always understand but always ends up being absolutely worth it.
All my love,
-C.J. Owen