The dissolution of a marriage is almost always an unhappy event, at least marked by disappointment and the loss of dreams and expectations.
Also, there are usually legal, financial, parental, emotional, and practical aspects that requires changes in responsibilities ,and it can take people years to regain equilibrium.
One of the most significant events of the 20th century was the changing role and improving status of women in private and public life, along with greater expectations for happiness. Those same changes brought about a much talked-about rise in divorce rates and liberalization of divorce laws. Infidelityand financial upheavals are significant causes of divorce, but the major causes are emotional; partners grow emotionally distant, experience disappointments because of unmet (and often unrealistic) expectations, or develop separate visions of life.
It is commonly believed that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Divorce is on the decline especially among the most educated.
marriages now deeply rooted in personal choice, people need an array of skills to work out the inevitable difficulties and disappointments that arise and lead to divorce.
Reasons for Divorce
Infidelity
Extra-marital affairs are responsible for the breakdown of most marriages that end in divorce. The reasons why people cheat aren’t as cut and dry as our anger may lead us to believe. Infidelity often begins as a seemingly innocent friendship, It starts as an emotional affair which later becomes a physical affair.
Money
Money makes people funny, or so the saying goes, and it’s true. Everything from different spending habits and financial goals to one spouse making considerably more money than the other, causing a power struggle can strain a marriage to the breaking point. Money really touches everything. It impacts people’s lives, Clearly, money and stress do seem to go hand in hand for many couples.
Lack of communication
Communication is crucial in marriage and not being able to communicate effectively quickly leads to resentment and frustration for both, On the other hand, good communication is the foundation of a strong marriage. shouting on your spouse, not talking enough, making nasty comments to express yourself are all methods of communication that need to be ditched in a marriage. Practicing mindful communication, to change age-old marriage mistakes, can be hard but it’s well worth the effort to improve and save your relationship.
Constant arguing
incessant arguing kills many relationships. Couples who seem to keep having the same argument over again feel they’re not being heard or appreciated. Many find it hard to see the other person’s point of view, which leads to a lot of arguments without ever coming to a resolution.
Weight gain
It may seem awfully superficial, but weight gain is a common reason for divorce. In some cases a significant amount of weight gain can lead to less physically attracted which trickles into issues with intimacy.
Lack of intimacy
Not feeling connected to your partner can quickly ruin a marriage because it leaves couples feeling as though they’re living with a stranger. This can be from a lack of physical or emotional intimacy and isn’t always about sex. If you are constantly giving your spouse the cold shoulder, then know that over time it can become the ground for divorce.
Abuse
Physical or emotional abuse is a sad experience for some couples. It doesn’t always stem from the abuser being bad ,deep emotional issues are usually to blame. Regardless of the reason, no one should tolerate abuse and be removing yourself from the relationship safely is important.
Effects of Divorce on Children
The consequences of a divorce for children are mostly that they have to move to a different home and sometimes to a different school and that they will not see and be with both their parents at the same time any more.
For pre-schoolers, the family and especially their parents, is the center of their universe. They need a lot of attention, care, love and confirmation from them. As a result of the divorce, they might become even more dependent of their parents. Probably, this is their way of getting closer to their parents.
Adolescents (children between 9 and 13 years) react in the opposite direction. They tend to behave more independent. They feel betrayed by their divorced parents. Mistrust enters the relationship. They feel they have to take care of themselves, to take things in their own hands.
Children of divorce have problems to adjust to the new situation especially When their divorced parents keep on fighting. The bigger the conflict and the longer it lasts, the more the children seem to be affected.
Finally, divorced parents should not try to find out via their children how their ex is living, what he or she is up to or to know about the new partner of their ex.
CONCLUSION
No marriage is easy. Even couples with the best intentions are sometimes unable to overcome their problems and end up in courtrooms. That’s why it’s important to address issues in your relationship early on. Don’t wait until they are too late to mend. Practice kindness, make intimacy a priority, go on holidays Try your very best before you decide that things are beyond your control and it is time to give up.