What does it mean to have your green light on? This video is geared towards those that would like to find a serious relationship and/or to get married. With this as your goal, it's crucial to find someone who also has his/her green light on and is ready for a relationship too.
The first step is to qualify anyone you want to date or are currently dating as soon as possible by asking them what they are looking for. Some examples:
"What brought you to this singles event?"
"Why are you on this dating site?"
"In a perfect scenario, what would you like to find in someone you are dating?"
"I don't know about you, but I'm looking for a monster! What about you?"
The key is to be confident, and not desperate, and keep it playful as you can see in my last example above! Hopefully you have already watched my How to Find Your Soulmate video, and you know that your special someone is out there. Therefore, there is no pressure on the person in front of you who you may be dating or maybe just met, as the right person will be able to answer easily (if their green light is on) this type of question.
The moral of the story is, don’t be afraid to ask the important question of why the person in front of you is there. You want to make sure you are both are on the same page as timing is everything. The wrong person (green light off!) will get nervous, avoid the question, make jokes, etc., and then you know that he/she maybe just got out of a long relationship or just wants fun, and you can throw that fish back in the ocean and not waste your or that person's time. The right person (green light on!) will have no problem saying that if they met someone special, they'd be happy to be in a committed relationship.
The longer we date someone and also the older we get, we get more emotionally attached to that person and the expectations on that person go up. So the faster we check in with the other person, the faster you can find someone wanting the same things as you.
On that note, it's okay to be honest with yourself! We are told to be so independent that we don't need anyone, but it's actually very empowering to say that you are happy on your own, but would love to get married to the right person or have a companion or partner in life. It's important to know what you want so you can find it.
I think often we meet someone we think is super cute and we love to be around, but then we get so scared to ask these important questions for fear we'll scare them off; but this is the worst thing you can do! A perfect example: I have a girlfriend that met a guy totally her type - super tall and buff, and she loved to spend time with him. She was so scared she would chase him away if she asked him any questions that she just went with the flow and saw him a lot but never checked in with him on his relationship goals. Five months later, she finally had to ask him what he wanted as she was really catching feelings for him, and it turns out he had just gotten out of a long relationship (and was probably still in love with his ex) and wanted nothing serious. He had hinted at this along the way, but by the time she finally asked, she was very attached to him with high expectations of a future together, and thus she was very hurt and upset and it took her a long time to get over him. I'm hoping my tips will help you to avoid the same pain!
Another good example is a different girlfriend of mine did ask the right questions early on with someone she started to date. Hooray! However, his actions were not in alignment with the words he said that he wanted to find someone to have a serious relationship with. In actuality, his priorities and time were very clearly with his job and travel schedule to make money and see his clients 24/7. He said he'd be more available in 2-3 months, but people(!), we have to stay in the present moment! If someone isn't ready now, do not accept crumbs when you can have a whole cake! His green light was not on as he's not ready or available and the timing was not right.
Release the fear my friends. Once your head knows what it wants and speaks it openly, and your heart is excited about someone as the chemistry is there, then it's all systems go as both of your green lights are on! Win! You are safe to continue dating.
Also I want to add that just because you meet someone with their green light on, doesn't mean you have to pressure each other to force things to work! It just means you are at the right starting point to enjoy the process of getting to know each other to see if you are a good match for the longterm.
Please comment below if you are familiar with meeting someone with their green light on or off and tell me your experience!
My video is at DLive