When I did DMT the first time, it was like the entire world broke up into these snake-like swirls of color, and I was lost or entangled in them. The space had a disturbing and totally alien feeling to it that was nonetheless very familiar. It felt like I might have spent a very long time there in the past. I kept forgetting myself, over and over, until I was finally able to pull myself out of it and return to the room.

When I did DMT again, I felt like I was in the same space, even though the visuals were gone. It felt like I was experiencing the ground of reality, which was infinite madness and chaos.

Both experiences were really disturbing, but what I learned from them was to appreciate my life and how amazing it is to be human and have a body and an identity and the ability to love. Mundane things became very precious. So overall, it was worth it.