Boudica has kindly agreed to an interview today to update us on the 4 weeks she's spent with the anjkara family.
Warning 1: Boudica swears
Warning 2: Raw meat pictures
So, thanks for taking the time to talk to us today, Boudica...
Please. Call me Boo.
Sure, Boo. How's your first 4 weeks been at the anjkara family?
It's been interesting, amazing actually. I feel quite at home now. Everything seems to be mine until a human confiscates it.
How are you getting on with toileting?
Never had any trouble there, IMO. There's no skill involved. I get a little feeling and sniff around like this... Easy. I'll show you now if you like?
Sorry, I meant with toileting in the appropriate areas. Can you tell us about that?
Yeah, they have designated areas for that. They had me under surveillance for a while. Followed me everywhere. Talk about Big Brother! I think they're psychic though – they always seem to open the garden door when it's time to 'go'.
Do you prefer to 'go' outside in the garden?
I'm proud to say I do 95% of my toilet outside now. Good girl, me. It'd be 100% but I can't unlock the door while they're out, can I!
Anyway, going in the garden is awesome. Not only do I get to do my thing, I also get to play with leaves, plant pots and even the odd lump of poo that anjkara has forgotten to pick up. We have a laugh. When she tries to bend down to pick it up, we race to see who can get there first. She's very grateful for this – I can tell by the excited noises she makes when I win.
How are you getting on with Trevor the Bullmastiff and Nelly the English Bulldog? I hear they're a tough crowd.
Well my first day here was scary AF. The other two dogs (especially Nelly) kept trying to sniff me. I spent most of the first day hiding behind anjkara and the other humans, pretending to be invisible.
Then how did things progress?
After a day or so, I gradually started to creep out from behind their legs and get to know the other dogs. Nelly was a bit of a nuisance. She kept trying to sniff my privates which was difficult because her head is massive. Every time she dipped under me to have a sniff, I'd end up with my rear end high in the air, balanced on her head. I fell off a few times.
What about Trevor. He's a big guy.
I know, right! He just wasn't very sociable at first. He'd usually just ignore me. One night, I tried to get in the bed with him. Well, it looked so cozy and fluffy. He pretty much told me to fuck off, so I did. Nelly was the first to let me stay in bed with her.
How is Nelly? I've heard she can be a weirdo.
You're not wrong. Nelly has her moments. If she's not in the mood to talk, she'll pull a funny face until I leave her alone.
I've heard you like to bite the other dogs. Can you tell us about that?
Yeah, I'm no innocent. It's my teeth, see. I'm teething and their jowls are so soft and smushy. They're impossible to resist.
How do they handle that?
Not very well actually. LOL. Well, at least Nelly doesn't handle it well. With her, I can maybe get in one good chew before she does that weird bite-warning face. Trevor would lie there all day though. He's such a hippy. It's almost like he can't feel it. He has his limits though. He makes a big 'Oooohhhfff' sound over and over when he's nearly at the point of a proper warning bark. He's gentle though. Except when he accidentally stood on me. That fucking hurt.
Have you got a favourite dog?
Not really. Nelly's podgy and cuddly, good for bedtime (if you can handle her snoring). Trevor's good for playing. I've managed to sneak a bit of sleep with him too but he has to be out cold first. He never lets me sleep by him when he's just trying to doze off. He has 'personal space' issues or something, I dunno.
Why's that, do you think?
It's hard to know but maybe coz I have, when he's been sleeping, launched a ninja attack at his head. You know, where I sneak up on him, launch my almost 10kg into the air and land all my sharp bits on his muzzle. You should see the surprise on his gob though. It's so funny coz he wobbles his jowls with indignation and looks confused. It's hilarious. I laugh my head off every time.
How is play time with the other dogs?
Trevor sometimes gets the pull rope or one of anjkara's teatowels (when she's distracted with Steemit) and we play man-o'-war. That's great fun. I'm not as strong as him but he lets me win sometimes, usually when he's ready for a lie down.
Nelly's not as much fun. She's a bit stingy with the toys. Her mouth can be crowded with a ball, a squeaker and a soft toy but still she wants whatever I'm tryna play with. Greedy bitch!
Have you learned any tricks yet?
Well, I dunno if I'd call them tricks. I could sit the hell down anyways. But you know what humans are like. They try to take the glory for you being able to sit your arse down when they make a noise with their face. Yeah, I can do that. It's fun actually. I get to lick liver pate mmm.
Do you like food?
OMG yes! It's probably my favourite thing in the whole world. And cuddles.
What do you eat?
Pretty much anything in range but mostly raw meat and bones. If there's any leftovers, I like to scatter them about. It's my art. I'm using working titles for my artwork at the moment, such as Crime Scene #1, etcetera. Don't judge me.
What's your favourite food?
Liver pate. That's my one true love. Then chicken hearts. They're good too. But I also like a mix of tripe and organ meat. And beef. Marrow in the bone is delicious too. Keeps me busy for ages. Did I mention pate yet?
Yes. Are there any improvements you're looking to make in the future?
I'm a dog. The future doesn't exist, silly.
SMARTSTEEM
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