Yes, you read it right. I got dog poop in my eye.
"How could that happen!?" I hear you ask.
Well, let me tell you.
I took some dogs to a nearby park right by the beach. It's a small park, but the dogs can still get off leash for a bit of a run-around. It was a very blustery day - bright sunshine with clear blue skies, but just a tad windy.
Into the park we went. Run-around, run-around, chasey, chasey, bark, bark - all the usual stuff. And, like normal, the usual stuff meant poop time, too. I take great pride when all the dogs poop. It makes me feel like I've fully done my job. A 100% poop ratio is my goal.
I always have the ubiquitous blue poop bags on hand, as any dog walker or owner should. Never go to work without your tools, right?
One of the dogs started to do his poop walk - you know, the wide legs, arched back, tail up kind of thing. I made my way over to where he was, unrolling a poop bag as I walked. I put the bag over my hand like a surgeon putting on his gloves. I bent over and began to pick up the poop. I have done this literally thousands of times in my life. I can pick it up without even looking. It's like I have muscle memory.
At that very moment, a huge gust of wind blows a pile of dust into my face. Something went into my eye and it hurt. I took my hand out of the poop bag and instinctively rubbed my eye, trying to remove the foreign object.
Then I felt a warm sensation on my eyelid and on my fingers. I opened my eyes slowly, looked at my fingers, and realized I was looking at poop.
When the dust blew into my eye, I must have squeezed the poop bag too hard and put my fingers right through it.
My car was parked a few hundred feet away. I gathered up the dogs and marched over as quickly as possible. I wanted to get some water and hand sanitizer in order to begin the cleaning process. I thought after a thorough washing, my eye should be fine.
When I awoke the next morning, I could not open my eye. It had swollen shut, and I knew I had a full blown eye infection. It took about two weeks to clear up.
It has been said that the mistakes we make allow us to learn valuable lessons. The lesson I take away from this is:
Never put dog poop in your eye.