Shaizy shared her heartfelt story with Harita. She got married to an educated financial advisor in San Francisco when she was 26 yrs old. It was an arranged marriage. Shaizy thought her partner was a sensitive, intelligent and kind man. He was well educated, so the family approved of the marriage.
Shaizy said when she moved to San Francisco with her husband, it was the most miserable time of her life. "He started talking like he owned me. He used to instruct me what to do and what not. If I failed to perform according to his wish, he would get so angry and mad that he started throwing things around," says Shaizy.
Shaizy could not understand this sudden change in his behaviour and asked for advice from her friends and family members. Everyone, especially her maternal grandmother told her to be patient.
"Unfortunately, my staying calm backfired," says Shaizy.
Shaizy's mother went to San Francisco to help her. She stayed with the couple for 15 days. Her mother saw his behaviour, and it was tough for a mother to see her daughter who was a fun loving woman, full of life, turning into a person who had lost interest in life. She confined herself to household work. Shaizy says she was living like a slave who cooked, cleaned and gots beaten up by her husband.
"I was not allowed to leave the house with my mother without my husband's permission. I was not allowed to wear any makeup. I had to cover myself and shorts or skirts were not allowed."
Shaizy decided to come back to Australia with her mother, but her husband convinced shaizy and her mother that he would not hit her again. The promise was broken as soon Shaizy's mother left.
And one day Shaizy told her self that it was enough.
"One fine morning about 5 am, he tried to kiss me and turned abusive after he saw a pimple on my lips. He stepped on my chest and started abusing me verbally and physically. I was so scared. I called 911."
Police arrested Shaizy's husband. A restraining order was issued.
Shaizy added that the most exhausting thing was the divorce, the restraining order, the criminal protective order and finding a place to live for herself while she went through these court hearings and cried at home for months.
Life is different now.
Shaizy runs her shoe-designing business; she writes poetry. She has started a foundation called "Empowerment Foundation" where she can help the people who are going through the similar things and also a life empowerment group.
The advise Shaizy gives to women who are in an abusive relationship is, "Please leave. Don't stay. Because it will happen again. Ask for help. Don't be ashamed. Seek therapy, see a psychologist, recover, meditate, travel and love yourself, respect yourself. You deserve to be loved and treated with respect."