Dreaming - fantasies about something greatly desired. Simple human logic tells that we all dream and imagine a better future, better partner, tastier food or better anything in life. Right?
What if I told you that many of us have stopped dreaming or just do not know how to do it anymore? Life got in the way and turned some of us into realistic, logical and rational human beings, who act and live their everyday life based on the facts and what is present at the moment.
Many of us have forgotten our inner child, who used to play with imaginary friends; dolls who were living, breathing and talking in our tiny mind; or toy race cars that were the fastest in the world. Now you might call it stupid, childish, or even a waste of time as it does not pay the bills?
As I mostly write about things relevant to me, or what have been pondering on my mind lately, then this issue, challenge, problem or call it however, is a part my realisation. I have stopped dreaming! The saddest is that I did not even know I had done it. I am always happy and positive with a wicked sense of humour (Yes! I do! Hah!), so I thought I knew how to dream. But I was wrong.
How did I came to this realisation? Acting classes! Comes out that realistic and rational person is not the best actress after all, who knew huh? I was supposed to have a class with adults, but due to the time-schedule discrepancies I joined youngsters instead. They were 8-11 years old girls and boys. And when I saw how their brains worked, how they imagined something that was not there, how they improvised on the spot something amazing, literally out of this world, I realised that my mind has been trapped in a box. I though that I was free as a bird, but no. My mind, or my imaginary world, has been formed by social norm of what is right, logical and rational.
And all those words like right, logical, rational, realistic are just limitation to your dreams. But dreams make you happier even if they might not come true. They give you hope, motivation and desire to strive for something. They put life wheels in motion.
Have you heard sayings like “The less you know, the better you sleep”, “ God keeps drunkards safe”, or “Ignorant people are the happiest”. Okay, some may be true, some just came from the back of my mind. What I am trying to say is that people who have decided to ignore social demands on how to act or how to be, are actually happier than the ones who live exactly like it is expected from them by society.
When I was 15, my cousin told me that I was a 15-years old girl with a 25-years old woman’s mind. I took it as a compliment. I was always very mature for my age. I just got things done! Whatever I decided to do, I did it very well. I committed 100% to everything I decided to do. Results were good, they made me happy. I was and still am an actions based and I have done so many great things in my life I am grateful for. But I had mistaken action for dreaming. Since I worked hard and got what I worked for, I thought that this is it, this is how it supposed to be.
There were couple of warning signs in acting classes previously. One class I realise that there was “too much me in my acting”. It means that I judged the character from my perspective, I held back because my subconscious was too careful because my character’s behaviour did not meet the standards I had set in my life. I thought I was a rebel, but I realised I have been a “good girl” all along because my standards were the ones that restrained me.
Of course this realisation does not mean that I will suddenly get my body tattooed, pierced, my hair coloured purple or do something that would be totally out of the ordinary for me. For someone’s this is their reality, for me it would be extreme.
BUT I will make some changes in my life. And one of them is to learn how to dream again. How could we do it if we have let our very realistic life turn us into human beings without desires to have more that we have at present?
- Kids! I don’t mean to have one if you already don’t. I mean we can learn so much from them. Just watch the way they act: no fear of judgment, getting punished or knowing what is socially accepted. Their minds are so pure and full of imagination. It’s amazing! I used to hate kids. Okay, hate is a strong word, but I could not be around them as I found them too childish. Logical right? But now since I want to learn how to dream again and let my mind create something that is not a fact or reality, but what may happen in the future, I have started people-watching or kids-watching. Nothing creepy, just trying to understand how’s someones mind is working. And kids minds are the most interesting ones as they are not based on any logic and produce whatever they feel like. They are just being themselves - a superior version on imagination.
- I love reading and every time I had to start a new book, I pushed romance novels, or sci-fi books aside. I read only books that made me “smarter”, fed me with facts I can discuss with someone else later in life. I made those choices without realising I was turning down my imaginary world because I was craving for knowledge. But now I will make a 180degree turn and start reading love stories..huh, maybe my love life will become a better one? Just kidding. But I might even watch Star Trek movies one day. Yes, I am Star Trek virgin - please don’t hate me. What I am saying is that just read books you normally would not read, watch movies you usually avoid, listen to music that is not on your regular playlist and talk to people who you usually don’t find your cup of tea. You would learn so much about the“other world” and it will only open up your mind.
- Daydreaming has been somehow of a no-no. People, who tend to drift away into their own world, have been blamed in the lack of concentration. But those people use their imagination and there is nothing wrong with that. Of course don’t daydream while driving..though it actually happens with many of us as usually you don’t even remember how you got from A to B, like you were on a cruise control.. anyhow…Let your mind wonder. Instead of trying to find explanation to everything, let it be. See pictures in front of your eyes. Try to see thing that are not there. Well, I am not telling you to go voluntarily mentally crazy, but just sometimes let your mind go. Let it think what it wants to think. This is a step closer to start dreaming again. Don’t judge if your mind sees a chocolate donut with pickles, or your crush flying in like a Superman..let it be. It’s unusual, but it’s a dream and no-one said it has to be real.
Comes out that pickle donut is real! Woaaa human kind!
- And last but not least - go and travel. If you are so fed up with everything and feel that your mind is just not dreaming, imagining or desiring anything, then let it all go and buy yourself one-way-ticket and go explore. Travelling opens up part of your brain that is hungry for adventure, meeting new people, exploring, tasting new food. Seeing new culture will either confirm that you love yours more or make you realise that place you called home is not your home at all. But above all seeing things out of your comfort zone will broaden your ability to imagine and dream.
I am determined to dream again! So far, so good. The change I have noticed is that I am even less judgmental than I have ever been before. I thought that I did not judge people, and I still don’t, but I judged myself a lot as I though I had myself figured out and judgment came when I did not meet my own standards. But letting it go bit by bit! Or maybe just going crazy by wanting my mind to see something that is not there..haha, but as far as I am concerned then today dreaming is a new black!