Do I need an intro?

I lost another designated driver!
First, my selfish niece up and moved off to Australia to be with the man she loved. The nerve.

Then, THEN, through no fault of my own, my best friend lost her drivers license. She had received two tickets in one week (both driving me somewhere, and in two different states). The nail in the coffin was this last gem, when she was pulled over for turning on a red light. We were on our way to downtown Nashville for lunch after she picked me up from the aeropuerto and I was already drunk and stoned from xanax and the gazillion shots I'd had earlier that morning in the Las Vegas airport lounge, and she turned right on red. She argued like a lawyer trying to negiotate with a prostitute on price. "There were NO signs!"

In fact, there were FIVE signs. I give you exhibit "A"

Ah. That sign. Yea....

And NOW, I have to drive myself. Which has SERIOUSLY cut into my drinking time. Have to drink at home now damnit.