Characters: Me, Andra (quiet but not too quiet), Jen (a tiny, quiet, reserved girl), and Lola (like me but louder)
Scene: last stop on a 4 stop pub crawl, Pickle Barrel, a small pub, the back corner booth, Jen and Andra on one side, Lola and I on the other side, with me on the outside.
At this point, it's fairly safe to say everyone is at least buzzing a little... although I'd say Jen and Lola were far surpassed this point. Now I should explain that Lola is into healing through essential oils, of which she keeps many in her purse. And after eating a lot of pub food Jen and Andra were complaining after the booze and grub that they both had stomach aches so Lola said "oh! Rub this peppermint oil on your stomach and it will totally help!" So they did and they started to feel better and we all continued drinking and laughing and generally causing a raucous.
After a few minutes a guy from two tables over (the pub was fairly empty) yelled over "do you guys have MINT over there?!" Lola yelled back "It's essential oils for your stomach!" and before I could blink this guy had his shirt up and his belly 5 inches from face DEMANDING Lola rub the oil on his belly! Laughter erupts and she's vehemently protesting doing this cause let me tell you this dude must have been Greek or something cause he was a HAIRY dude. So then he says "Just put it on my belly! It's not like a car crash or breaking an arm: it won't hurt you!" so Lola throws the oil onto him and says "you will remember this buddy!" and all of a sudden he backs off, grabs a napkin and starts freaking out claiming she's trying to kill him and we all can't stop laughing and the guys date is laughing and so Lola yells to her "hey if you guys have sex tonight it's going to feel AMAZING!" and the poor girl, still laughing, hides her face in her hands, totally embarrassed while her male companion is still flipping his lid.
Then Jen complains of a headache so I offer her a motrin and Lola says "NO! You don't need her western medicine I have oils for that!" So Andra replies "Oh yes we should avoid western medicine, it's not like western medicine causes SCENES in BARS or anything!!!"
Finally I keep asking Lola "WHAT IS IN YOUR BEER?!"
That, my friends, is cigarette ash. She drank most of it, despite me continually pointing out something in her drink, cause in her drunken state, she used it as an ash tray. Her response?
"dont try to control me! I will drink ash in my beer if I want to!"
And that Ladies & Germs, was this week's Tuesday Boozeday.