2 More hours until closing time, it is quiet but there is work I could do to pass the time.
DESPONDENT.
Then ISP that needs to takeover the ADSL line says they can't and the one that had the line says it is available to take over says it is ready.
DESPONDENT.
My second cat in 3 months died, I think it is from poison because meds just do not work and the vet just says give 'em this and see. By that time it is too far along.
DESPONDENT.
I can sympathise with 
DESPONDENT.
There are a few more white people problems I can mention apart from the above, but I think you get the point.
Despondent is the word I would use to describe what my first thoughts are when thinking about the future. It is quite a nice word that rolls of the tongue then declares that you are serious with that final hard-T. It is my kind of word.
I like all the synonyms for it also, I like how at first it looks weird. I like how vague it sounds. Like correspondent, who is it? Where are they?
"Are you just saying that instead of James in the UK. You are just talking to James aren't you? He is a bit of a dick now that he thinks he is british. Oh, that is why you did not want to say James? I always make fun of dick James?"
Hope is a weird thing, because it is different for everyone, but the lack of it is the same. Whether they hoped for good marks or just that the sun would shine, then with time and a dash of reality they realise that it is pointless. They realise that what will be will be. Hoping for things do not work. You either studied and know the work, or you let the rain pour because it needs to.
It is like taking a dump, sometimes you just need a little bit of despondency in your life.
Sleepy.
I am not quite sure if I am just tired all the time or lacking the will, nay courage to just do something. Do what though? I could watch youtube non-stop but that requires no effort on my behalf. I have been working on a few things one of which needs to be up tomorrow which is obviously an issue given my lack of internet.Not a deal breaker I can get it done via mobile but fucked if that does not sound like effort. Then what and for what?
I ask the for what question a lot. Why do I need to do something, for what reason does it need to be done? The problem with that question is that you can always find a reason for it to not be done. Almost like why am I writing this...
