I got attracted to DXM by a news site. Somewhat shocked by the detailed description of the article and the thought how many the stuff now just shoot once, it has also aroused my interest in spite of all.
Especially the part had me interested where people distance itself from the body and see himself. I wondered if that can actually be possible that the soul from the body dissolves or if that is not simply a co amount cubes of thoughts.
Maybe I could actually find some answers to certain questions. The next step was the clever I went on the internet was looking for field reports . When gathering information, I quickly got to know tips and tricks that you can need for such a trip or should do to prepare one. Very important here is that this substance was causing me no dependency. What dose should I start? I knew pretty much exactly what I was getting at not too high in my single attempt, but not too low. So I opted for the third plateau, also with the thought that I will probably not see myself as in a near-death experience. I was not really scared of a horrortrip because I see myself as a pretty strong logical thinker and I was pretty sure I could properly deal with it in an appropriate situation.
The thought of some dreams from my past gave me to safety because I was able to see in a dream that it was a dream and could accordingly control almost at will. Of course, despite all I wanted to play it as an absolute safe number and wrote down a plan on which I will held me.
1 weeks in advance,I did a test dose (in my case it was in the form of wick syrup). Volumes amounted to about 175 mg. From the dose I noticed absolutely nothing.
I orderd 3 packs cough suppressant dextromethorphan-ratiopharm through an online pharmacy.
I gathered the necessary dose of the order and put the rest out of my reach.
I talked to my wife talk about my project, so I could be alone and nobody bothers at this stage about the trip and take it into the negative. (She was not thrilled)
6 hours before the trip no food
2x 1.5 liter bottle of water next to my bed
and last but not least a small bucket with a little water in it.
I made myself a playlist of music I like. I wont post the artists, because this would be missleading for others. You should pick something that you like, but nothing that is too hard in any way.
I turned my TV on and started the playlist (checked whether the auto repeat is on)
Then switched my LED lights on
Put the night mask next to my bed (which I otherwise never even use) and placed the pillow and the rest in position so that I felt more then just comfortable.
In thoughts went through everything again: just small tips I picked up while researching the net like: not scratch when it itches, don't let any signs of horror or panic ideas join your imagination and don't try to control the breathing.
So I came from work the next day and talked to my wife again, asked her if she lets me sleep the day after and told her what she had to respong in case someone would ask for me. But also spoke about the worst case and she would have to call the ambulance, just to make sure everything is prepared. I have things well thought out and I wouldnd have done it if I wouldnd have complete confidence in my wife.
Ready to start !
At 23 o'clock I took the first 10 caps and 10 minutes later the other 15 caps so I wont thunder directly from 0 to 100 into nothing but will be able to break up if it turns into wrong direction. I would say that the first effect happend probably exactly 23:30, but it was just my fantasy and I almost started to believe it would come to no effect just like with the test dose. I felt no different feelings, not even increased pleasure or pleasant sensation of the music that I had already switched. I bridged the time with videos on the phone when it came to the universe, but let the music from the Smart TV running on. Around 23:55 I noticed that it gets a little hotter to me. After getting rid of unneeded clothes it was not so uncomfortable abymore, but then it started to itch from the head and then in the back. I had now truly to keep myself calm to not start scratching like stupid. At this point I realized that may be only the first signs of action. This can be roughly describe as a taking a training Boosters Beta Alanine with just about 10-fold enhanced. I saw it already as a challenge and tried as best as I could to keep my hands where they are because I was afraid of starting with some pain into the trip and making it to a negative drift that way.
At 0:00 exactly heard all this with a blow on and I thought so, "Okay, and now?" I looked for Smart TV where just a still image of the music video was seen. In retrospect, I can only say that what I've seen there was a change in perception. The image is actually still a picture, but by this time I saw it as the indiviual components would move apart and it started to work on 3D, as one could access clean. In that moment I realized: Yes - here we go.
Again and again I looked at the clock, comparing small things in the room. I graduated from and to my eyes to see if I already have this CEVS (closed-eye visualizations) I read in some trip reports. There was still nothing to see, but noticed there was another body feeling. My body was very, very hard and that made it hard to grip the bottle by the bed and drink something. When I took the bottle it felt somehow lightweight and yet I had the feeling that the gravity became stronger. I knew that I wont be able to do things anymore soon and so I decided to quickly take my shirt off (which was not easy) in order to counteract the rising heat up, reaching for the night mask and pulled it over my eyes. Checked the positioning of the headphones again and it was fine. Zack I heard a growl - the music was gone, completely on radio silence, it was then a loud whistling once and is gone after a few seconds. Slowly something set in motion and I felt like it was increasing and was moving away, but very slowly. I could still think clearly, but what happened after that tore me completely full control inc. Leaving me unsure who or what I am. I can not say exactly whether I remember me directly there where it then continued or whether I missed a part, but everything what followed was really strong stuff which I had never experienced before. It was all extremely real. In this moment I did not know what I am and what I do here. I was floating through space.
What was upsetting me in this scenario was just, that was it seemed to be of kilometers long in one room, but somehow it was not a feeling of freedom and the same time, somehow as if it was an illusion of space and time. It felt like I was sitting on a Revolving chair and could not move and this chair drove and drove and drove on. Then changed the room, but it remained constantly concentrated, even if you could see the light at the end. The music was crystal clear, but not always perfect, sometimes she caught me too nervous although it was very quiet. Then changed the scenery and I was like on an alien planet and was part of it, like I was a part of the liquid and asked me why I could think at all, and what is the meaning of it all. Changed the places and everything was to a gigantic mix of universe and different elements and I always had the feeling I am part of it, part of a tiny chain that simply . This feeling made I was somehow a bit unhappy because I did not understand the meaning behind it. In Short moments I was back home in my bed, but I did not realize that it was so because I did not know who or what I am. I also didnt this was my home, but to me it was familiar and I saw now and then my wife and the feeling was familiar even though, at this time I didnt know it was my wife. Nothing which I could normally associate as usual, because my idea of completeness were aligned and the real question was in the room at no answer. I did not understand the meaning behind it and solved everything from when I perceived the full extent of what surrounded me and I realized at some point that the boundaries are to my own protection.
When I was somewhere else and different surfaces perceived as soft and wave-like, as if I was fire and water and in the past, future and now. Just the same time as it carried me back into this space of my home and I recognized the it was a part of the whole and the structure which was built buy the so called humans. The term man was a stranger to me, as if I had this only just learned and never known before. But I found that the idea of these species does not make sense because its only a fragment of the whole, which disappears later and will start from new. I do not know why I thought so, but I thought everything was a single cycle and felt lost and alone and yet I had so much around me. I wasnt satisfied at all because I knew everything before it happend. Constantly the feeling that I am part of the whole, throughout all times but still so unhappy. Part of my understanding eludes because the trip was much longer than I thought. It all seemed so real, much different than when you are dreaming. That was not necessarily a very enjoyable trip, but also not a bad trip. Perhaps I just need some more time to even understand all that happend.
I suppose that the trip ended sooner then it could have. I forgot to check the automated timer of the smart TV. This had been switched off after about 4 hours. The absolute silence brought me very slowly back in the actual here and now back, and then I realized where I was and who I was. I noticed that I urgently had to go to the bathroom. I tried to open my eyes, but damn this small little light hurts as fuck. I decided to keep my eyes closed and I almost had the feeling, that I could see all the things around me even with closed eyes. The only thing that made me cancel my plan, was the enormous weight of my body. Almost like when the trip started, but this time it was even more heavy. Now I understood why some people said it would be impossible to move over to the toilet.
I wanted to try it anyway but short edge of the bed, I decided to let the nonsense because the stairs from the platform of my bed was only temporary and still under construction. If I would really have tried to walk down there, it might not have ended good. I somehow managed to literally pull me to the bucket and used it as a toilet. Amazingly, I managed it all quite well. Then I thought, well the worst I have survived and then I was overcome by an attack of nausea. I pulled the bucket below my head and patted if I have him really under my head and puked. Since my stomach was almost completly empty, there was not much to come out.
But I felt really good after that and decided to lie down again. My wife later told me that it was around 4 o clock am. She obviously had hear me puking. Around 10 o'clock I woke up and I was finally able to open my eyes. I turned around and looked around. My bed pillow was wet like it was never before. For safety, I smelled on it, but it was really only welding. Walking made me some problems and my pupils were a bit bigger, but not really noticeable for others. To me it was not really bad but I had problems to concentrate and could barely handle anything of what happend the last night. It was very interesting, but nothing that I would want to do again.