Probably not many people following this in the netherlands, you know where the coffeeshops are open with a menucard of all the weed and hash in store today !? Anywayz as the title tells you , I've been a junkie, not so much on weed but more on the Cocaine, I started out only on newyears-eve ! Great, left it alone for a year, and again newyears- eve. As I manage to keep away of it for a whole year I underestimated the addictive tendencies of the very forcefull drug... This created an arrogant and misplaced sensce that I had control over it YES ?
As A very good friend of mine said once is too many and twice s not enough....
This was not a false warning that (sorry to say ) I took in vain, arrogant I thought I had control.....
I didn't crave or touch it for a full year HAE !?
Then in february my birthday, Yeah why not have a sniff (or five), as far as I can remember it was a great party....
Not long after I was sniffing daily, and not long after that it didn't seem sensible to sniff and more economic to start to freebase it....
I will let you in on a bit of the end of it all....I conscider myself very very lucky, I am now clean for about 25 years, but what the real story is about is how it has untill today destroyed, and formed my life, and to make the world aware that this mistake is still a debt that I feel, in loss of family, friends, credebility, and options that I had....
Also to let you in on the world of a survivor and all the difficulties they have to overcome to rectify their mis'take', and how society keeps on pushing you back to the thought; "why do I even try ?".
To get back on track is unbelievabaly hard and to overcome the prejudgements and preconcieved opinions concerning are gruwesom....
This is my first post here and I would be surprised if anyone 'out there' is interested, I will let you in that the outcome is positive, I overcame ! But there are still some things that the general population are withheld from and those circumstances are for me worth describing, during my long rehab.... Just to let you in on how 'the system' works concerning people like I used to be.... Maybe a bit of understanding, maybe a bit more tolerance, maybe even changing the regular ways conscidered to work and sucking up many taxpayers money and creating a lot of revenue for the complete aray of doctors, psychotherapeuts, and most of all PHARMACIES..... The creation of "legal" junkies...