The other day I was at the grocery store buying some dog food and macaroni when I passed by a D.A.R.E table set up outside. For anyone who doesn't know D.A.R.E stands for "Drug Abuse Resistance Education" and often primarily relies on scare tactics to try get people to stay away from drugs, heavily targeting schools, which has proven time and time again to be ineffective for preventing drug abuse.
A woman approached me. "Excuse me ma-am, do you have a moment-"
-I cut her off. "No thanks, I like drugs," and kept walking.
I don't have a moralizing stance against drugs. I think they can be used as tools when used smartly, and everyone has to decide whether or not they want to partake. For thousands of years people have used drugs as mood enhancers, to ease pain, to shift consciousness, to socialize - drugs are a part of our civilization and things like alcohol are a part of our infrastructure. I am pro-drug education, and websites like Erowid have given helpful unbiased information about drugs to people who are curious like me, and want to have the facts.
For example, here is a chart that shows the LD50 , or lethal median dose, of several substances. THe LD50 of a substance is the amount of substance required to kill about 50% of the population who take that amount. You can see that LSD and Marijuana are some of the least toxic substances, and cocaine is actually less lethal than alcohol. And the first time I saw this chart, I had no idea that nutmeg was actually incredibly lethal.
I actually first heard about Kratom when the DEA was going to place it as a schedule I drug last year and several people stepped in to say they used it for pain relief and to get off of dangerous opiates like heroin. Kratom is considered a fairly mild drug - it's related to the coffee plant and its leaves were chewed by people in Southeast Asia for years as a remedy. Kratom is unusual in that it can have both stimulating and sedating effects depending on dosage and strain. It behaves as an opioid receptor agonist, similar to morphine. That means it binds to opioid receptors and mimic the structure of endorphins that occur naturally in the body. However unlike drugs like heroin, they are partial opiod agonists instead of full.
I ended up getting curious about using it as an aid to calm me down when my anxiety was high. I have PTSD and often have flashbacks which result in some severe anxiety and heightened emotions. I ordered about 250mg of something called "Gold Bali." for about $25 off the Internet (From what I've heard, there are differences between different strains, just as there are differences between marijuana strains, but a lot of it is marketing. For example, Kratom no longer actually comes from Bali. I've heard the best thing to do is to test out different strains and avoid marketing names.)
I ended up taking about 1/4th of a teaspoon for my first dose. I'd had the kratom for a few days, but hadn't dosed yet. It was a Sunday night, I'd just gotten back from a film festival, and I was surprisingly sober, so I decided to experiment. A "normal" dose was usually about a full teaspoon, or 4mg but some people dose higher. Kratom can induce nausea at higher doses, so it's recommended to not up the dose higher for more effects.
The effect came on in about a half hour on an empty stomach. The best way I can describe it is that it was glowing. (Keep in mind that I've never had painkillers or other opiods before) The effect was mild, as if I'd drank a cup of coffee, but it was definitely present. My limbs kind of had that warm feeling - not hot, but like I said, glowing. Everything took on a gentle presence.
I also felt a little stimulated. I was calm, but no longer tired. Negative feelings I had were no longer present, as if pushed out of my ind. I could notice the intricacies of music better, and was in general in a heightened state of awareness despite the sedation. It lasted for a few hours before I went to bed, and I was able to have a somewhat restful sleep. (I often sleep terribly.)
However, I would say that kratom is not an effective replacement for therapy or general mood modification techniques when it comes to dealing with anxiety. But that's the case with most drugs - anxiety drugs like benzodiazepenes often just require constant upping of dosage to feel effects. The effects of Kratom only last a few hours and it can be addictive. My anxiety usually lasts for a few days, so I'd have to constantly redose to get the continued benefits. I do find it relaxing though, so it could be used as an infrequent tool when anxiety is really bad, or as a part of a relaxation ritual.
I've also found that I like drinking kratom with a glass of wine or beer as I feel like it enhances the effects somewhat. It's generally not recommended that you mix alcohol with sedatives or stimulants, but kratom is incredibly mild and I haven't had any issues. I plan on experimenting with different strains in the future and using it as an occasional thing. I've noticed it has some appetite suppression properties, and it can be stronger when taken on an empty stomach.
If you experiment with kratom, I recommend that you don't dose more than once in a single day, and take frequent breaks to prevent having to go through withdrawal. Withdrawal is supposed to be mild compared to heroin, (Maybe similar to caffeine withdrawal) but still unpleasant.
And be sure to do your own research!
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Other posts you may be interested in:
Attack At Del Mar Dog Beach [Journal]
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You Don't Have To Live In The Dark Woods Anymore
My Therapist is a Giant Psychic Dream Spider [Short Story]
My Therapist is a Giant Psychic Dream Spider, Part 2 [Short Story]