I think im correct in saying everyone remembers the first time they took drugs just the same as everyone remembers loosing their virginity. Its one of those rare precious moments in life that you know straight away that everything has changed, just like after loosing your virginity you instantly feel like you've entered full manhood. For myself and like so many other folk, my first exploration in to mind expansion came in the form of the beautiful plant, marijuana. I was fourteen and already lived in close proximity to pot, when as soon as me and my sister were sent to our rooms at night, from downstairs came the strong sweet smell of the hash my mum and step dad would be smoking. Then one weekend night i had a couple of mates staying over. When my two buddies went to the shop for provisions i didnt think anything other than how much I was looking forward to some sweet things to eat. As the two of them stepped back in my bedroom, they both had the biggest grins you can imagine on their faces. I didnt have a clue what was happening until instead of sweets, one of them pulled out a ten bag of pot out his pocket. Straight away my heart sped up ten fold. I was frightened and excited in equal measures. My mates didnt have to ask if i was cool with this new development as im guessing the silly grin on my face suddenly matched theres. Now, I'd been rolling role ups for my real dad since i was like ten or something so i was naturally the designated joint roller. And as i was building the very first spliff of what would become a very many more in the next few years, all i could think was how much i knew my life wouldnt be the same ever again. Once rolled and approved by my now, best buddies in all the world, i knew i had to run downstairs and show my mum and stepdad . As i ran downstairs giggling like a little girl, i pulled the joint out in front of both of them and said " look what i made". My step dad laughed and said " is that packed?" " yep" i said proudly. My mum looked a little worried and just said " be careful " i was still only fourteen after all. My step dad gave me a big smile and said " enjoy yourself son" and that was it, i ran up stairs to what would become a passion and hobby for a smoke filled haze next few years. The first time being stoned is something that i cant really put in to words, as anything i write wont do it justice. I imagine when seriously devoted religious types talk about what ever heaven they believe in, being seriously blazed is what they dream that heaven would be like. People talk about weed being a gateway drug and for me that couldnt be more true. I wanted to try the lot and nothing and no one was gonna tell me otherwise. One saying i strongly believe in and have pretty much lived by since that first dooby is " WHY TRUST ONE DRUG AND NOT ANOTHER " If theres one thing i really dispise is when some small minded know it all slags off something they know fuck all about, in this case , drugs. Now you'll find it difficult to name a drug i havent tried. Before i would try a new drug i would read as much about it as i could just so i knew what i was letting myself in for. One thing always intreauged me greatly, shooting up drugs. Watching great movies like trainspotting probably didnt help but i had something a hell of a lot closer to home. My real father is a real full blown junkie. His drug of choice is amphetamine which I have seen him shooting up since I was about sixteen or so. Now, watching him do this is grim as fuck, his arms are just a mass of deep wounds that he wont let heal properly and im sure he doesnt even find a vain any more he just shoots straight in to his arm. Its a real horror show to see. All off this should of been a real huge deterrent and most normal people it would be. But i also seen when he finds a vain, the look of pure happiness and ecstasy on his face and the big release of air as the drug courses through his body. At the age of twenty coming close to twenty one i had a really bad brake up from a girl i loved like I'd loved no other. I took it really bad. I pretty much gave up on life. Then one day i went to my old mans to have a drink and to score a bit of wizz of him and as i got more and more pissed i got it in my mind that i didnt give a fuck any more so im gonna shoot up, i just didnt give a flying shit any more. So i just said it to my dad " do that to me" . He straight away said no way. But over the next couple hours i badgered and pestered him until he gave up. So i got the string and tied it on my arm as he boiled me up a fresh batch of speed on a clean spoon . I knew i was in safe hands so i wasn't frightened, plus I've never been frightened of needles, i just wanted to feel something other than feeling my world was nothing but trash. As he took a new needle out the packet i put my arm ready on the table. He sucked the now warm liquid up the needle filling it up then put the point ready on a vain and said " are you sure you want this, im really not happy doing this" i just said " do it". As he slipped the needle in to my arm to my surprise i couldnt feel a thing. Then all the way in he slowly started pushing the juice in to my arm. I didnt feel anything for a second or two then BANG. It hit me like a tonne of bricks. All the air in my body was suddenly gone and for a few seconds i couldnt breath. Then a real nasty taste of speed forced its way to the back of my mouth and tongue followed by the greatest feeling of comfort I'd ever felt and ran through the whole of my body. It was unlike anything i had ever felt and by far the greatest feeling i had ever experienced. I sat back in my chair and didnt speak or open my eyes for like twenty or so minutes, but to me it felt like a life time. Afterwards I said to my dad " now i know why you go through all that shit trying to find a vain" and he just smiled. Over the coming months i tried it a dozen or so more times but it was never the same or anywhere close to that first time. So i stopped trying as i knew exactly where it would lead if i carried on trying. Im now a little over thirty one. I still do drugs every so often. A bag or two of coke on a night out or a couple of pills with mates. When ever i feel im hitting it a bit hard I'll call it quits for a good few months. With living with seeing my dad, its kept me from getting seriously hooked on drugs but i will say this, i aint gonna give up drugs any time soon as i aint got no kids, i hold down a respectful job and most of all , drugs are still a hell of a lot of fun. I strongly recommended trying drugs if you havent already as theres not much better than dropping a pill or two and really getting to know and love your mates or who ever your with or totally loosing yourself on the dance floor . For a few hours all the bad and evil in the world go's away and in these rotton days, whats that worth?
Any questions? Feel free. Plus i apologise for my shady spelling.
Peace.