On October 30th 2017 my father passed away suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 66 from a heart attack. I never imagined I would be losing a parent at 33 or that my mother would be widowed at 57. As I write this I am still in shock and disbelief. I've always had an aptitude for processing pain and emotions, but I haven't the faintest idea on how to even begin to process a loss of this magnitude.
I don't know if I'm progressing through the stages of grief in a normal way or not but wherever I'm at in the process, what I've been thinking a lot bout the things I DIDN'T express to my father when he was alive. It's easy to dwell on things that were left unsaid after the loss of a loved one and the pain of this regret can be intense. The best word I have been able to come up with to describe this is HEAVY.
It all feels like a giant emotional burden that only I can carry. As much as people want to help and comfort the grieving, at the end of the day grief, is not something that can be shared. It affects us all in different ways and each of us have to figure out how to bear it in a way that allows us to to keep living and progressing for the rest of the time we have left on Earth.
Creative writing has always helped me process pain and loss. I express and understand my emotions more clearly and pointedly through song and poetry. Recently, I was inspired to write a poem as a tribute to my Father and I would like to share it exclusively on Steemit and Dsound.
I hope it touches and inspires you and if you too have experienced this type of loss my heart goes out to you. Keep processing, keep expressing, and keep surviving any way you know how. There is no "right way" to grieve. We all have to make our own path through the pain and somehow find a way to honor loved ones who have passed on by shinning our light in a dark and broken world.
An excerpt...
Your mouth never spoke of the pain and the gold, deep down in your soul that simmered and boiled and never fully resolved
But now I know
Your words never gloated of the love that you doted on all the less fortuned you abetted and supported
But now I know
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