This is my darkest song. I was inspired by a true story about a preacher's wife here in Tennessee who murdered her husband back in 2006. She was officially guilty, but she was morally innocent. She could have gotten 60 years but was out in less than a year because the judge and jury believed that she had been tortured enough already.
In my story, which is different, a preacher's wife named Caroline finds her husband cheating on her, and then later finds him plotting to kill her as he is speaking to his mistress on the telephone. An actual telephone. I don't know why that part is so important for me to explain to people, but I always want it to be known that it's a landline, not a cell phone.
Fun fact, you can hear actual thunder in this song, especially if you listen with headphones, since I recorded it in the middle of a summer thunderstorm. It happens in the very beginning, and also perfectly timed up with the lyrics in a couple of places. I wanted to high-five the sky when I finished recording, I was so excited and hoped so badly that the mic picked up the thunder, and also was very grateful to not have been electrocuted. Musically, this song is mediocre, at best.. but I'm happy with the lyrics. I've always been more of a storyteller than a musician. Music just helps a story along sometimes.
Lyrics
I drive alone, down this road.
You always drive but I know my way.
I see the trees glaring at me.
What have I done?
Should I face this or run?
You changed me.
For 28 years I held your hand.
While you broke me down, I stood by my man.
Then one block straight Eastward,
I found your sin..
Kissing you softly, Caroline grinned.
And when she saw me her eyes were not sorry.
I yelled, "How dare you!?"
Then walked home to cry.
I locked the door and then you kicked it down.
You said I've gone crazy and I should lie down.
You changed me.
Late Wednesday night
you thought you were alone.
I heard the phone ring
then eavesdropped till dawn.
You told her, "Don't worry, I've got a plan."
And I held my breath as you said..
"I'll kill her."
(You'll kill me.)
So I went downstairs and I said one last prayer.
"God, please forgive me for what must transpire."
I left you there, face on the floor, bleeding and mad.
I'm not holding your hand.
You changed me.
You changed me.
I drive alone down this road.
What have I done?
Should I face this or run?
song & photo © serena matthews
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