I suffered anxiety and depression, like you I tried to drown my insecurities in alcohol a year ago I stopped drinking and asked for help. My doctor helped me a lot in the period from the beginning of therapy and today- I traveled Europe, discovered that I can paint and made some real art work, then I discovered cryptocurrencies, trading blockchain, and all that things had changed me from the core. As I said before you are a very brave man! I wish you best luck!