Happy Friday Steemians!
So yesterday I released a somewhat controversial video on PC Culture. Of course, whenever I post something inherently political, I run the risk of losing followers, or interest, or people who aren't into politics, or don't want to come here for it. The biggest risk however is that of potentially getting into an argument with the hubs...which just so happened to occur.
Hubs and I first met in a choir. He was the accompanist, and I was a singer. I had just come off a divorce and I was feeling lightweight and fancy free. I certainly wasn't considering settling down again, not for a long time. The divorce was unexpected and left me in a pretty shitty situation that took years to recover financially from. So, I definitely wasn't considering anything serious at that moment.
Somehow, of the 30 or so girls in the choir, I caught his eye, and he awkwardly chatted me up at the piano one rehearsal, remembering my name and complimenting my "Don't Feed the Hipsters" t-shirt.
Shortly after that, a couple of weeks later, everyone in the choir was exchanging phone numbers, and he got in on the action. I gave him my number and got a text that night. We texted for a week or so and he asked me out on a "non-date" to the movies...which ended up being a movie and a long talking date afterward at a frozen yogurt place. While we were there, we faced the inevitable: our political differences. I knew he was liberal, and he wasn't sure about me. We went over all the different topics, being careful not to divulge too much, so as not to offend the other. It was like walking through a minefield, being mindful not to step on any. We made it through and agreed on another date. The rest of it is pretty much history, but man do we still struggle.
In some ways I think we should go back to that day at the yogurt shop where we were so respectful of what the other had to say. Now, when we have an argument about politics, we go in guns a blazing, knowing that the other person is pretty much stuck with us haha. There isn't the same intrepid fear of losing the other person to being inconsiderate or rude. I think this happens to a lot of us in our marriages. The fear wears off, we get complacent and lazy, and often hurtful and unkind, knowing that the other person isn't likely to break things off...not with three kids and a mortgage and an impossibly hard world to live in by yourself raising kids without the help of another.
We could all do well to remember the first few weeks of our relationships and act more like that. Surely the "newness" has worn off after 6 years, but remembering why we are with the person we are with, and how we made it work then is surely the key to rekindling kindness and getting through rough arguments.
The video above is kind of an explanation of my differences from the hubs, and why we have difficulty understanding one another sometimes. Maybe it will give you a little perspective into your own relationship!
Thanks for reading/watching!
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