I really like what you're trying to do here, but here's my view.

The sound is terrible giving a real amateurish feel for the production.

• You can buy a lavaliere mic from Amazon for $10, please invest in one.

• Go somewhere where you don't sound like you're in a toilet. The mic will help a lot, but pic somewhere with better acoustics.

• You're right off the bat with who you are and how much money you've made in something that 'nobody knows about'. This comes across as snake oil and doesn't really do a lot for the credibility of the brand.

If this is truly a promo on Steemit, I'd promote the wonderful growing community you have here, the help, support and guidance. The decentralisation, the no big brother, and also the fact you could earn some coins on top as a bonus.

Just my two cents worth. I applaud you for taking time and effort and you've made a fair bit on this post, so I'll just leave it there.