I woke up, I looked out the window, the world was still there, my crazy dreams of end of the world situations and zombieland inspired ‘rules’ overlay text graphics quickly faded from my mind, but what was left was kinda worse, the fact that once again, I’m still in the place I don’t wanna be, it’s like being trapped in a grid of boxes like that weird movie where they have to escape that maze of traps.
Still, could be worse eh? I have coffee and breakfast, we are good, at least for today and so that’s something to build on!
Regardless my energy for the new year and new decade is starting to flow nicely and I’m guessing that by eleven o’clock this morning I’ll be in full creation mode, I’ve really been enjoying the making process and it’s great to get subbed, viewers and content makers following along with some of my tutorials — I know I’ll improve them a lot this year.
I’ve had an incredible ‘vantage’ point of everything that’s been happening with the world from the perimeter fence of the internet via the blockchain, like jumping past all the colour corrected ai enhanced instafamers in the middle pages and jumping to the private ads at the back of the book.
It’s allowed me (heck afforded me) a few years of mental freedom — who I am at present, what areas of my life feel unfulfilled and also a behind the curtain look how people fabricate their safety bubble to allow themselves to continue to be annoyed and frustrated at how the world around us operates.
Don’t get me wrong here, I get it, we all need escapes, it’s a lot to try and handle have thousands of reactions to how we feel about something a million times a second, the dopamine centres have their phones ringing of the synapses hooks.
I didn’t want to be here in this chair this morning, I wanted to be out there, totally different direction, in transition, working on something I was passionate about, carrying compassion with me, a sliver of expectation that I flipped the script, threw the life map out the window, indicated right and went left to a carhorn crescendo of a middle age man with a fuming rage in slow motion gesturing to me that I should have my life sorted out more.
Sadly, this was not the case, I’m still where I was before, the computer says no, currently, we don’t wait, we add/subtract and step through, considering all the negatives and how to make them just that little bit less painful than before, do we truly clean the slate when we flip into that new year (new decade) feel or do we just hope we have room under the emotional life rug.
The bottom line, while I love everything I do right now, it’s not in the place I should be, it’s time for lots of change, instead of it being predicated on my previous excuses and behaviour it’s an opportunity, heck, every day is but this comes with gusto/momentum energy attached to it — think of it like the nexus ribbon in Star Trek, this field energy that gathers you up as you surf on the coat tails of it’s unknown destinations.
So yeah, I did’nt hit the 1st like I wanted, many of us didn’t, in fact, maybe you were shocked how quick we jumped from Christmas Day to the brand new year, I know it came in like a wreaking ball and is a reminder to us all to be incredibly respectful of our time and the time of others.
While I maybe on rinse and repeat on the daily for now, do expect big sweeping changes on the horizon, all this energy shaping to push out the ask to the universe has not been in vain — you will create the environment that your heart desires, things will come in, if you are open to them.
Welcome to your new future.
__humble x
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