Communication with another person very often can be compared to a military battle, and participants in a conversation with commanders, whose victory depends on how skillfully each of them uses the means at his disposal - the "military arsenal" can be very broad and apart from explicit means of attack and defense In the course there can be various tricks and tricks.
One type of such a covert attack is manipulation - conscious actions aimed at realizing their own benefit. Material benefits - it is borrowed for an indefinite period of money, and made for a manipulator work, and much more. And emotional .... You will not believe it, but there are a lot of people who "eat" attention, sympathy and admiration. Sometimes beautiful artists come out of them. And sometimes - ordinary energy vampires.
When the manipulator has something to return (money or things), when it is objectively before you, the more impregnable and vulnerable creature you simply will not find. After all, it's you who are to blame for everything. You came up with a request at the most inopportune moment, you speak with intolerable intonations, you can not hear at all, are you right that came here to swing? Yes, I will. Remind me. Of course of course. Listen, I do not understand why you need to publicly poke me in the blunder, where you were brought up?
- The manipulator will benefit if it succeeds in imposing guilt on you. Do not be afraid to seem like a bore, a greedy or inhospitable person. Be persistent, if something is obvious to you, do not hesitate to remind about it once again. Whatever people say, the next time the manipulator hardly chooses you as your victim. You're better!
Then work begins with your self-esteem: from the manipulator, you will know that you are both clever, kind, and amazingly efficient person. The palette of flattery in this case is very rich: from "I've always considered you a normal friend" to "listen, you're the only person who talks with such sincere interest about Ancient Greece." Then the manipulator mimics, adapts to you and is ready to listen to your stories for a while - Are you very glad that you found a grateful listener? ).
To play a friendship the manipulator can in many ways. He can not only flagrantly flatter, but also draw you air locks, talk about his busy life and between the lines to connect you to everything interesting that is happening in it. The manipulator has friends - foreigners, and aunt - art director of a nightclub, and friends - famous photographers, producers, etc.
So you relaxed, relaxed, and it's time to go on the attack. And by the way, do you have any money? You see, I'm temporarily experiencing some difficulties .... And you will not give me your books on Ancient Greece, you have a lot, and why do you need them, you're already terribly smart, right? And you can not help me with the work, otherwise I'm so tired, you do not understand me the truth? And stuff, and so on ....
- You agree, a person rejoices, gets his own and quickly disappears from your life - so it turns out that you are not smart enough, normal, and interesting to be a friend, but you have enough of these qualities so that you can turn to you for help.
Of course, the ability to manipulate people is a talent that can be useful in life - but constant communication with the manipulator will turn you into a nervous, suspicious and constantly defending man - and do you need it?
You've already gained your experience, but in life you will inevitably have to face such characters, that's why among the people close to you or friends the manipulator does not belong.