I was shocked to find out that Anthony Bourdain passed away today from suicide. I was at work looking through my phone and read about this on my Facebook feed.
My heart sank and I felt sadness. Even though I never met the guy, for some reason it felt as if a friend of mine died.
I started watching his shows years ago. At that time, I did not go out that much and spent most of my time watching cable so I had a lot of time to go through a lot of shows. That's where I found out about Anthony's show No Reservations on CNN.
I liked his style of narrating and storytelling. I liked how he described the stories of people and their food and culture. He seemed honest in his views and always respected the people in the countries he visits.
Just last month during my leave, there were days that I would watch a lot of his shows on Youtube to relax. I didn't know at the time that would be the last time I would watch a new show of his.
I found out from the news reports today that he had struggled with addiction. I'm thinking that this may have something to do with his suicide. At the time of me writing this, there's not much information about the real reason. I suspect, though, that he was experiencing depression. It's sad they that he was not able to get the help that he needed.
This shows us that no one is immune to suffering. We all experience it. Even people who seem to have it all.
When we go through struggles, it would be best to be kind to ourselves. It would also be great to ask for help from others if we really need it.
Here is a part of Anthony Bourdain's show Part's Unknown that I like. It was shot in the Philippines where I'm from:
What Self-Compassion is Not
People have misconceptions about self-compassion. These are the common ones.
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Self-Compassion is Not Self-Pity
Self-compassion is seeing yourself as a person who experiences pain like other people. In contrast, when we pity ourselves we tend to think that we are inferior to others for having unpleasant experiences. Nobody's life is perfect and everyone goes through something uncomfortable sometimes.
Self-Compassion is Not Self-indulgence
When we are compassionate to ourselves, we want the best for ourselves. We want to do things that will be beneficial to us in the long run. Self-compassion is not giving ourselves an excuse to do things that are not in our best interest. It's not about allowing ourselves to overeat, overdrink or engaging in avoidance behaviors. Self-compassion is doing what is best for us even if we feel discomfort and even pain.
Self-Compassion is Not Self-Esteem
Self-Compassion is acknowledging that we are human beings that suffer and that we are not better or worse off than others. In contrast, self-esteem is dependent on status, money, popularity and being better than others. Self-esteem often leads to overcompetitiveness, depression, stress, and narcissism. Self-compassion, on the other hand, assumes that we deserve the best for ourselves just because.
Source: Self-compassion.org
How I Practiced Self-Compassion Today
This morning I had feelings of nervousness and anxiety. I had very familiar negative predictions and self-critical thoughts in my head. I also had thoughts that I didn't want to go to work, that I'd just call in sick. I had an urge to just stay home.
I told myself kindly that all these thoughts, feelings and urges will pass. I also reminded myself that there are probably millions of people who were experiencing something like I was experiencing at that time. I told myself that I was not alone in having these thoughts and feelings.
I noticed where in my body I was having the feelings of anxiety. I noticed the tension in my chest and tingling in my arms. I tried to see them as sensations and nothing else.
I reminded myself that my thoughts were separate from me. I thanked my mind for trying to help me survive by telling me things will go bad so I can prepare myself.
I also pushed myself to do the opposite of what my mind was telling me to do which was to not go to work. I ate breakfast, took a bath and dressed.
I reminded myself why I wanted to go to work: I wanted to earn money for my future family.
When the day wore on at work I noticed that my thoughts and feelings gradually changed. I felt calmer and happier.
Hope this post was helpful to you in some way.
The information in this post is not a replacement for therapy. If you need help with handling your thoughts and feelings, please consult with a professional.
May you have a meaningful life.
Please check a related post below:
Practicing Self-Compassion Day 1
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