Our lives are really just one big dot to dot puzzle. But what those dots are makes all the difference to whether we are happy in our lives or sad.
A Terrible Week
Earlier in the week, my daughter had the most terrible tantrum that lasted over three days in the end. All triggered by the fact that I did not let her dance because it was 8pm and that is the dance cut off time.
So started the next three days of her screaming and yelling that she wanted a new family, she hated me and her little sister, she wanted to kill us and lots of not nice things and hitting out and kicking.
I ended up packing up all her favourite things and saying I would put them in the dustbin if she didn't calm down and go to her room.
She had plenty of chances, but the bag ended up in the dustbin (it is now in the loft as I didn't have the heart to throw it away in the end, but shhh don't tell her).
So then she wanted to call the police and social services, which she repeated for hours on end and then woke up at 2 am and carried on some more, then in the morning even more...
It culminated in her fibbing to her teacher that I hit her, because she was so angry at me taking her toys away, so I had an interesting conversation with the headmaster and I said yes I could do with some more help with the eldest, because she can be very difficult.
But anyway, she came home yesterday afternoon all cuddles, sunshine and apologies, after speaking to one of the other mum's at lunchtime at school. I'd like some of her magic please.
So we talked and we would work together dealing with her anger issues and seek external help too. If we can do something about it now, then we can all work together on it. It is good that she is expressing it outwardly, when I was a kid I processed everything internally and it kind of imploded later in life.
The Epiphany
And thinking about her 'punishment' for that, I wondered what to do. I could take away every dance lesson, every plan we have for the next month. I have already taken her favourite toys away (as far as she knows).
But it dawned on me this morning, that life shouldn't always be about punishments or extensive punishment. Look at the number of repeat offenders we have in prison, out and out punishment doesn't work.
But of course, there will be consequences.
I may well even tell her the bag of stuff is in the loft, but she will only get one thing back a day if she is good.
And dance class is definitely cancelled.
But as for the fun trips to the park, or running the races we want to enter, or a nice afternoon walk in nature, they are all staying.
Because life is a dot to dot. Those dots can be from drama to drama, or they can be from happy moment to happy moment.
It is our design.
I choose from happy moment to happy moment.
With <3 Hope Huggs
