‘You make me feel like a dick,’ is what an acquaintance of my boyfriend said to me. He said this to me in a dream, so actually it was me who said this. To myself.
We were standing in front of the meat and the meat substitutes, deciding what to buy for the barbecue. He told me he felt uncomfortable with us not eating meat while he was.
Being a vegan makes people who aren’t feel like dicks. I think it’s because it implies a moral superiority. And nobody likes to be told they’re bad people, even if it’s implicit.
My plant based behavior makes meat-eaters feel like doing the wrong thing. I don’t even have to scold them for doing so. It’s more as if their own conscience is speaking to them. Sometimes they mistake that voice for mine.
preachy motherfuckers
Of course this isn’t always the case because vegans can be very much annoying, preaching away and condemning everyone who hasn’t seen the light yet (in the eyes of the vegans).
As a quiet person, I’m not much capable of imposing my opinions on others. It makes me stammer and black out.
But if you ask me specifically and I feel comfortable, you can get it.
Even if I don’t talk about it, my behavior stands out. When I refuse a piece of cake, for example. People want to know why. ‘Why don’t you want cake, Irene? You’re not on a diet, are you?’ while scanning my body with their eyes. ‘No, cake gives me diarrhea,’ I said once. Which wasn’t a complete lie because it will probably give me some. Even before I went plant based, cakes like those made me feel a bit sick afterwards. Layers of fluffy cake with greasy custard and very sweet jam in between, fully coated with marzipan.
Saying that my body doesn’t tolerate certain foods is easier to accept for most people than saying I don’t want to eat it because I’m vegan and I do it for the animals or the environment. Because the first reason is just an unfortunate coincidence and the second and third reason makes me morally superior because it’s a conscious choice I made. It’s a choice that reflects on other people's’ choices as well.
And I can’t help it, but I do feel better for not eating animals. Since I stopped eating them I truly do feel better. Physically and mentally. I’m the same but I feel better. And some people think that means I think I’m better than they are. So they will tell me they’re going to eat an extra large steak this evening.
Some don’t want to hear that I lost almost twenty kilograms of weight, that I am less tired, that I’m almost untouchable for the flu, my dizziness disappeared, the migraine, the sad feelings of powerlessness, the itches, the nasty pustules I had sometimes on the back of my head. It went away. And a big bonus is that I’m less afraid of the truth. Which is great side effect for a pansy like me who preferred to stay in bed until everything solved itself.
I opened my eyes for the painful truth. It hurt me so bad in the beginning. Feelings of shame and anger towards myself and the outside world. But there was nobody to blame really, because in a way, we’re all victims.
But unlike most animals, we human animals have a choice. We can consciously alter our behavior.
First we do something. Then we don’t.
change is scary
But also fun.
The hardest things about being a vegan isn’t all the dietary and lifestyle restrictions I have put upon myself. In fact, I don’t feel restricted at all. Quite the opposite actually: I’m more free now that I’ve discovered a moral ground. The hard thing is that now I am aware of all the suffering and pain. It is still going on, just not on my plate. I see the choices we make every day and my mind accumulates it and imagines all the sad and hurt animals, locked up and used and ending up on our plates.
It’s a heavy load, to see what others refuse to see, and carry it in silence.
fear
I know about fear, I’ve been afraid for the better part of my life. I couldn't admit I was afraid, it was buried deep inside me. It made me behave a certain way and I didn’t notice. I lied to myself all the time. And when somebody or something would threaten my safe space, my comfortable mind prison, my defense mechanisms would come into force.
It could be that what lies underneath all that hate towards the animal lovers, is fear. Because I remember how painful it was to admit what I had been an accomplice of. For most it’s not that easy to admit that they have been fooled, by themselves and by society.
supernatural superpowers
These days I even feel compassion for carrots, for garlic, for insects in the grass I might step on. My empathy expanded. I think it’s cool because it gives me more knowledge, insight, understanding and a feeling of universality. Maybe people think it’s too much effort, this expanded awareness?
I don’t know.
For me it feels like I have acquired a superpower. The ability to see. A gateway to other superpowers.
Yeah, of course vegans are hated. For multiple reasons. My whole above story is full of reasons to hate - to cover up the fear. Isn’t it so that hate grows on and out of fear?
If you’re willing - not only to hear and listen - to actually receive the message, you almost have to change your behavior. Deep down all of us realize that. Because we are all good people, and if you want to live your live as you used to do, you’ll have to stay ignorant.
us vs them
Another reason might be because of the label and what it implies. The vegan label. It kind of says: you are one, or you aren’t. All or nothing, is what people seem to think. When you’re a vegan, your moral quest is done. You have perfected yourself as a person. Now, go on, go and judge, you’ve earned it!
This creates a division between us and them, whoever us and them is. We should unite, man.
’he who is free from sin cast the first stone’
It’s more work, trying to be a good person. Maybe it threatens the sloth living inside all of us.
I could go on for a long time and then I still wouldn't have said it all. So I leave it at this. For now.
Thank you for reading. I hope you all have a lovely day. If you have any thoughts or questions, please don’t hesitate to share them with me.
Irene
This was a response on @eco-alex for the Ecotrain Question Of The Week: Why do you think there is so much hate and anger toward Vegans, and why are those who eat meat and dairy so threatened by the notion of giving it up?