One of the most important psychological needs in human beings is the need to be heard and acknowledged. It might even be said that it trumps love and belonging. This is because everyday we talk, contribute, give information, speculate and share ideas. Unless one is a bit of a hermit and talks with oneself, communication is not done in isolation, it is a social interaction.
A conversation is about 'toing and froing', involving complete concentration and active listening by both parties; the talker and the listener. Otherwise, the person talking is not heard; a listener failing to acknowledge feelings effectively kills a conversation leaving the speaker unrequited. Acknowledging someone's feelings can never be underestimated, it only needs one little comment. It is best to choose the right person to share what matters as it is good for your self-worth. Practise makes perfect!
Even in formal professional settings active listening and acknowledgement of feelings are paramount even when one party may not like the end outcome. Sounds crazy I know, but the way people are treated is the key. Like, in a school setting when parents are upset over a decision about their child's behaviour can feel vindicated if the teacher or principal acknowledges the parents' angst feelings etc. It levels the playing field with parents acquiring a sense of control and self-power wanting to work with the professional. On the other hand, when the professional is into power over, failing to reflect the upset/angry feelings of parents or even unwilling to listen there is no conciliatory outcome. Instead it becomes a 'point of no return, in many situations escalating into major battles.
I know so well, as I personally dealt with many angry parents in my professional role in the Education system. There was always a point of no return . if the principal had only acknowledged the parent's feelings and was willing to work with them.
So, yes please hear me, what I say matters. A simple acknowledgement of feelings is magical. It can be as little as a thank you. Recently, I did just that when I thanked my sister-in-law for her very pretty 'flowers' birthday card. A happy conversation on buying the card took place, she felt good.
Then again, I acknowledge that we are all at different stages on this learning curve, getting it wrong is a part of the journey.
Cheers, thank you for reading and always grateful for upvotes and comments.
ps: I love flowers!
